Robyn Hudson wants to know where her son Wade Dunn's remains are. Photo / Supplied
WARNING: Content may upset some readers
As she prepares for the sentencing of her son Wade Dunn's killers, Robyn Hudson wants more than to just see justice is served.
She wants to know where his remains are.
Mr Dunn was last seen alive at his home in Ballajura, Western Australia, in May 2015. There is still a lot his family and even the police don't know about his final days. But what is known about his final minutes is brutal and horrifying.
Garry David Jackson was found guilty of murdering 40-year-old Mr Dunn at trial in Perth late last year. Another man, Mark David Corbett, had earlier pleaded guilty to murder and was a key witness at Jackson's trial.
Police believed the three men were involved in drug dealing - and on the day of the murder Mr Dunn was lured to a house on the pretext of collecting a $27,000 debt from Corbett.
The trial in the WA Supreme Court heard the men beat him to death with a metal pole and then used a chainsaw to cut him into pieces.
Mr Dunn's hands were cut off because he had scratched Jackson and was worried about his DNA being found on him, the jury were told. Mr Dunn was then decapitated and kept in his ute until a friend noticed the smell.
Jackson denied having anything to do with Mr Dunn's death, claiming that while he was at the house he was also hit with a pole and rendered almost unconscious.
He said the last time he saw Mr Dunn alive he was leaving the house with Corbett and another man.
The jury deliberated a day before he was found guilty. Both he and Corbett will face a sentencing hearing on Thursday.
The guilty verdicts have done little to ease Ms Hudson's pain though because she has never been able to properly farewell her son. Now she wants to bring him home for a dignified farewell.
"It gobsmacks people can be so heartless. But then looking at what they did to my son ... Oh my God. They don't have a heart."
She wants the truth about where "my boy" is.
"Where did you put Wade's head, where did you throw his hands, where did you put his torso? My son is now a jigsaw puzzle. It's just absolutely horrendous."
Ms Hudson has been speaking with an "amazing" Aboriginal tracker about attempting to locate Mr Dunn's remains. It's a long shot, but she's prepared to do almost anything to bring him home.
The tracker worked with police in the 1970s and is confident he can help, but first he needs police to tell him the general area of bushland near Bindoon, northeast of Perth, the remains are thought to be in.
Ms Hudson said detectives involved in her son's case were supportive and she is hopeful it happens soon.
"I've seen all of the paperwork of what he's done in the past and it's amazing. It's huge. He's got certificates, letters from commissioners."
There have already been two previous attempts to find where the body parts were dumped, when inmates claimed they knew the location. But each time they were "led up the garden path" and nothing was ever found, Ms Hudson said.
As well as wanting a proper chance to say goodbye, she wants closure, for herself and his three children.
"It's not only for his father and me, it's for my grandchildren. These kids have gone through hell and are continuing to go through hell."
The sudden loss of their father when they were so little, the youngest was just seven, caused them to "lose the plot". Other family members felt it just as hard.
They reacted in different ways. Some younger ones lashed out, others become anxious and needed help from psychologists. Ms Hudson herself developed post traumatic stress disorder and, like many families torn apart by murder, relationships have fractured.
After the guilty verdict was handed down by the jury, Ms Hudson said she wanted her son remembered as a family man that was "always happy-go-lucky". He was all those things, at least he was before the drugs got a hold of him.
But once his name was linked with such a brutal crime along with drug use and dealing of drugs, people switched off and assumed the worst.
The family saw the comments online, under news articles, and elsewhere on Facebook. "Just another druggie" or "better off gone". It was always the same, no big loss, who cares.
It would upset the family who grew used to hear him being described in a derogatory way.
Ms Hudson's message to her loved ones is always the same.
"For those people who know him and the ones important in his life we know he was a beautiful person and he was loved and cared so much for his family. He idolised his kids and was absolutely a family oriented person."
She said he was generous, even with strangers. "If someone on the street needed money he would give them money."
She laughs when she remembers him growing up, a sweet kid far removed from what the headlines suggest. Never in a million years did she think it would end this way.
"As good looking as what he was he was a comic book nerd. He loved Star Wars, he was so addicted to that. His collection was huge."
He was good to his friends who "didn't have a bad word to say about him".
"They were his true friends." After a pause she adds: "Not his druggie-type friends."
It was the drugs that sent him on a collision course with Jackson and Corbett.
Ms Hudson agrees he made bad choices and things quickly got out of control.
"He told me he'd had a falling out with someone but he never said why. He stayed away from me cause he knew I'd give him the third degree to find out what's going on."
And then: "I wished I had of done it."
On previous occasions she had acted on that instinct, that concern, and got him away from whatever the danger was.
"If I knew what it was I would have got him away from Perth. I've done it before when he got in trouble with certain people. I just made him sort of vanish."
Next week not only brings the sentencing of Jackson and Corbett, but it will also be Mr Dunn's birthday.
Ms Hudson and Wade's father Steven had spoken briefly about how they would mark the birth of their son.
"I don't really know what to do, it can't be anything huge."
As much as she wants to see a life term imposed next week, she doesn't know what emotions the hearing will conjure up
"Wade was my only child I lost him at 40 years of age. It's horrible," she said.
"My son's life is gone and these guys aren't remorseful or anything. Even though Corbett pleaded guilty and took police [to where he thought the remains were]. But still nothing."
Sitting through the trial was traumatic even when she believed she was braced for the worst. She was wrong.
"We told Major Crime we needed a lot of time to process what happened to Wade. They came to my house and Steven was here and my brother and sister-in-law and the prosecutor and head detective came and told us about the chainsaw."
She was numb with shock. "Tears came into my eyes for about two seconds and that was it."
After that she thought she was ready for the trial.
"Sitting in court not realising what they were going to show us made it worse." The images were graphic.
"The blood splattered inside the house, the blood outside where they killed him and outside on the walls and gutters and eaves."
After seeing that, she was done with court.
"I couldn't handle that, it was too traumatic and the lies ... I can't sit there and see the blood and hear what they did to him."
Instead Ms Hudson said she would hold onto the memories she does have of her son, before everything went wrong.
Looking back over photos of his journey from childhood to an adult brings tears to her eyes. "I'm very proud of these photos. My boy was actually a very spiritual person. He had a kind soul."
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