Police in Surrey are fed up with time-wasting calls, saying they receive far too many about non-emergencies.
Surrey Police say they received calls including "Will I get arrested if I move my housemate's banana?", "Fancy a chat?" and "My shutters aren't working properly"- all in the same day.
Other 999 calls made to Surrey Police included "There's a spider in my bin", "My washing machine isn't working" and "My TV is broken and EastEnders is about to start."
Officers revealed the daft calls from members of the public as part of a campaign to highlight the issue of police time-wasting.
In one call, a distraught resident said: "I think someone has stolen my eggs. My chicken lays an egg every morning, but today there wasn't one there."
The force took to Facebook and Twitter using the hashtag "policing matters" to raise awareness.