KEY POINTS:
An unexploded World War II torpedo? Riots? Dengue fever? Suddenly bulging waistlines? All in a day's work for New Zealand and Australian cops on the beat in the Solomons.
And that's just the beginning, a National Audit Office report on Australian Federal Police operations in the troubled island state has disclosed.
The AFP has about 220 officers working with the regional assistance mission to Solomon Islands (Ramsi), supported by 36 Kiwis and 55 officers from other regional police forces.
The report found their job was as different as could be from pounding the streets in Auckland or Sydney.
First up are the mosquitoes carrying malaria and dengue fever, which requires constant spraying around the Guadalcanal Beach Resort, where the international police force is based.
At first the officers were ordered to wear long sleeves, but humidity and temperatures of 30C or more saw that end and insect repellent use soar.
In two years, 16 officers came down with malaria, and another three with dengue fever, which the report says is a good record for islands with one of the world's highest rates of malaria.
Waistlines were also hard to manage. Food nutrition consultancy EatSmart was last year commissioned by the AFP to investigate rapid weight gains among their officers.
The answer: too much food. The canteen now serves more low-fat meals, along with nutritional advice.
Out on the beat, the job can be downright hairy. During the riots of April last year, 31 AFP officers received injuries ranging from cuts and bruises to a fractured jaw and a dislocated shoulder. Most were caused by rocks hurled by rioters.
The prospect of more trouble saw the number of bulletproof vests and helmets held by the international force rise to more than 200.
The problem is, they are hell to wear in the heat and humidity and the choice of protective wear is left to individual officers.
Outside the base, the normal run of risks is compounded by the legacy of World War II.
The report says that especially during the monsoon, when torrential downpours strip topsoil away, locals regularly find live mortar, artillery and anti-aircraft shells, bullets as well as the occasional torpedo.
"It is not uncommon for police in provincial posts to be greeted at the police station counter by a local resident holding such unexploded ordnance," it says.
The police base is ringed by a perimeter fence patrolled 24 hours a day and monitored by a sophisticated closed circuit television and sensor system. Only those with passes issued by the AFP are allowed inside.
But locals have found their own ways in. The report found that holes had twice been cut through the fence, and one intruder was found inside the compound.