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UNITED STATES - Men in South Africa say they cheat instead of taking second or third wives; Americans lament that love has died in their marriages; and the Japanese believe ex-marital sex isn't adultery if they pay for it.
These are just a few of the cultural excuses for cheating on one's spouse, as recorded by Pamela Druckerman, author of a comparative look at infidelity titled Lust in Translation: The Rules of Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee.
On a world scale, men in African countries were most likely to have taken another sexual partner in the past 12 months. As many as 37 per cent said they had been unfaithful in that time, according to data compiled by Druckerman.
While the French may be the first to eroticise illicit sex in movies and books, only 3.8 per cent of married men and 2 per cent of women admitted to having affairs.
They were outdone by straight-laced US citizens, where acknowledged rates of cheating came to 3.9 per cent of men and 3.1 per cent of women. But on a national average, US adulterers were more likely to beat themselves up over it.
Druckerman was struck by her own strong reactions against the idea of infidelity as compared to more cavalier attitudes abroad.
"I thought you could often understand a country better by looking at the rules in people's private lives. It really reveals the values of a culture," Druckerman said.
"Americans have got more tolerant on practically every major sexual issue, from having a child out of wedlock to divorce ... and homosexuality," she said. "We're more accepting of all these issues except infidelity, where we've got stricter."
Even more telling were views on the evils of adultery. While some 6 per cent of Americans in one survey said it was acceptable to cheat in some or all circumstances, nearly 40 per cent of Russians polled saw no problem with it.
On a broad scale, men in poorer countries were the most likely to cheat, or in places rife with political and economic upheaval, such as Russia or China.
But rates of cheating varied hugely within sub-cultures or even city neighbourhoods, Druckerman found.
"Much more important than any religious law or law of the land is what your friends and colleagues are doing," she said.
Druckerman found Americans seem to adhere to a well-defined script on adultery, in which sex outside the marriage is the ultimate act of dishonesty that could require years of repentance and therapy to resolve.
- REUTERS
