The best chat-up line in the world

Having sweated over the Big Bang and split the atom, academics have finally tackled the question that has perplexed man since the dawn of time: what is the best chat-up line?

For millions of males forced to do a swift about-turn in nightclubs, the advice is simple: Dazzle a woman with a bit of culture and suggest you're a fine specimen of a man.

Think long-term, psychologists from Edinburgh and Lancashire universities say, as the opening "verbal signal of genetic quality" is much more than an introduction.

Dr Christopher Bale, who led the research, said: "The highest-rated lines were those reflecting the man's control of a situation, wealth, culture, and spontaneous wit."

A direct request for sex got a low score, but it was not the worst tactic.

So what are the words of wonder that will secure a night of passion? Apparently: "It's hot today, isn't it? It's the best weather when you're training for the marathon."

Another winner, they assure, is to steer conversation towards your favourite music, so you can drop the line: "The Moonlight Sonata or, to give it its true name, Sonata quasi una fantasia. A fittingly beautiful piece for a beautiful lady."

You may be wondering what the worst lines are. Well, "You're the star that completes the constellation of my existence" was a poor attempt.

In road tests at London's fashionable Marylebone, our "researcher" began with a top-five offering.

"Ten ton polar bear."

"What," replied the "subject".

"Well, it breaks the ice."

The response was unprintable. The marathon line attracted only giggles. "There's something in your eye. Oh, it's a sparkle," got a far more positive response.

But the big winner proved to be the researcher's: "Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven?"

The scientists said showing off is a no-no. "Do you have space in your bag for my BMW keys" was the ultimate flop.

- INDEPENDENT