KEY POINTS:
BEIJING - "Complicated Cake", "Pee Soup", "Five Sliced Things", "Dumpling stuffed with the Ovary and Digestive Glands of a Crab" and, hopefully, "Crap in the Grass" will be banished from Beijing's menus as part of a new plan to improve English spelling and standardise food and drink names for the 2008 Olympics.
One of the many joys of eating in a Chinese restaurant is the linguistic richness of the English language menus - the misspelling of carp will always raise a giggle.
The standard of English has improved dramatically in recent years, which means fewer howlers like those listed above, but chefs still favour direct translations from Chinese or rather prosaic descriptions of the grub on offer.
There are wonderful examples of garbled English all around the capital. Among this correspondent's personal favourites are "F**k the certain price of goods" instead of "Sale Now On", while "Children is not recommended" has a certain elegance. "Enter the mouth", a mistranslation of the Chinese characters for "Entrance", is also very common on signposts.
The messages can range from the linguistically marvellous to the plain baffling. The spa in my apartment building promises a "babble bath", and in Starbucks not too long ago you could buy a "Fresh Fruit Howl" instead of a fruit bowl.
There are good intentions behind trying to put road signs in English as well as Chinese, for which the Government is to be applauded, and generally the road signs are very accurate.
However, some safety signs can be truly magnificent. Among the best are: "No blowing of horn. Keep silence!" and "Notice the rockslide, please is run about by cliff".
Eager to avoid red faces ahead of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the Chinese Government has set up a major drive to standardise the use of English in public, called the "Beijing Speaks to the World Committee", which scours the capital seeking out menus or road signs lost in mistranslation.
The committee has finished translating more 1000 dishes and drinks so far. "We welcome public participation," the committee said.
Could this mean an end to gems such as the sign saying "Irretrievable Rubbish" on a bin in a city centre park. Olympic organisers hope so.
- INDEPENDENT
