Smallest chance for the richest

America's most humble businessman is running for presidency.

Opinion

The biggest, the best and the greatest: America loves superlatives.

Of course it has the biggest economy, the biggest military and it is the biggest consumer of energy. But I've came across all manner of lesser-known superlative bits.

The world's biggest crucifix is in America. So is the world's biggest pallasite meteorite, the biggest rubber band ball, the biggest ball of twine and — ick — the biggest cow hairball (apparently America has a thing for big balls). It can be little coincidence that the world's biggest frying pan comes from the same country as the world's biggest people.

But outside the world of kitschy small-town carnival attractions (biggest fire hydrant, watermelon slice, lava lamp), the superlative slop runs thick.

There are a lot of "ests" in America.

Just ask Donald Trump.

Anyone who thought we in New Zealand had scored a doozy last year with perhaps the oddest election will have been taught a valuable lesson in the past few days: never count the Americans out.

Sure, we had a party formed by a German tycoon wanted by the FBI. We had a sensational book, sourced from hacked emails and attacking the incumbent Government. We had a party leader question the moon landing. But America has The Don.

A Donald Trump pinata created by Pinateria Ramirez, a Mexican artisanal pinata store in Mexico. Photo / Facebook

"The greatest jobs president God ever created." "The richest candidate." "The most successful person ever, to run for presidency."

I'm guessing Trump's list of personal superlative adjectives doesn't extend to the most humble. For policy, he's promising to hit Isis the hardest. For Iranian nuclear talks he claims to know "the smartest negotiators in the world".

And the centrepiece of Donald Trump's foreign policy is his plan to sort immigration with Latin America. "I will build the best wall, the biggest, the strongest," he said.

You gotta love the show. The pageantry. US presidential campaigns are theatre high and low. And in this country of greatness, of the best and biggest, what are Trump's chances of winning the White House?

I'd say pretty small.

• Jack Tame is on Newstalk ZB Saturdays, 9am-midday.