Seven funerals for a wedding

NEW DELHI - Sonam Dagar's first mistake was to fall in love with the boy next door. Her second was to continue their illicit, outlawed relationship after her family had warned her off in no uncertain terms.

And her final error was to believe that an act of violence - an extraordinary, calculated night of mass murder - would allow her and her lover to be together.

The 19-year-old and her boyfriend have been detained by Indian police after confessing to murdering seven members of her family - her mother, father, grandmother, brother and three cousins - in a move they believed would allow them to marry in contravention of local custom that forbids people belonging to the same clan or gotra from becoming man and wife.

After drugging her family's food with sedatives slipped into the flour used to make their evening chapattis, the couple looped a rope around the necks of their victims and strangled them one by one.

The crime has stunned the remaining members of the young woman's family and triggered a wave of disbelief across the quiet farmland of Haryana, where she grew up.

The killings have also focused attention on the controversial role played in this part of India by khap panchyatts - unelected social councils - in controlling people's lives, including whom someone is allowed to marry.

In a remarkable confession, Sonam said: "I think that if people are in love, whether or not they are from the same gotra, they should be married. I thought that we could be together."

Sonam and Naveen, 20, grew up in the village of Kaboolpur, 100km west of Delhi. The pair lived next door to each other on a small, unmetalled lane bisected by an open drain and heavy with the smell of cattle.

They had known each other since they were children but about 18 months ago their relationship took a different turn when Sonam became attracted to her next-door neighbour, especially his gentle nature.

When her family learned of the relationship, they strongly forbade it. While such a ban may have been enforceable in the village, in the city of Rohtak where the pair were students, their love could continue away from public reproach.

When, this year, Sonam's family learned that the affair was continuing despite their warnings, they withdrew her from college and she was set to work in the home the family shares with its animals.

This summer, Sonam hit upon a solution that seems scarcely believable. "I had no suspicions towards the girl ... I could not believe that my granddaughter would do this," said Takdir Singh Dagar, one of Sonam's grandfathers. Her uncle, Bhupinder - whose 8-year-old son and two daughters, aged 12 and 14 - were among those murdered, appeared dazed. His wife died two years ago, he explained: "I have nothing left."

In the days after the killings Sonam was treated in hospital, after apparently taking sedatives herself to cover her tracks. "For the first five days we thought she was innocent," her uncle said.

"Had we come to know that the girl had been involved in the murders we would have killed her instantly."

The young couple have told police they believed that killing their family was the only way they could be together. Indeed, Naveen said they feared that they themselves might be killed for their relationship, even if they had fled the village.

Members of the family dismiss this, although Sonam's other grandfather, Zila Singh Jakhar, confirmed that tradition prevented them from marrying. "We have some customs and tradition," he said. "It means that someone in this village cannot marry anyone else in the village. The whole village belongs to the gotra. It is to stop inter-breeding."

Senior Superintendent Anil Kumar Rao, who is heading the murder investigation, has little doubt the couple were driven to their crime as a result of the influence exerted by Sonam's parents.

Naveen, who is also in police custody, said Sonam had come to him with the idea of killing her family two weeks before the murders. Initially, he said, he rejected the proposal but then agreed.

"It was her insistence. It was because I love her. I knew we would be in trouble and that sooner or later we would be caught."

As they wait to be taken for their second appearance in front of a magistrate, both say they now regret what they did in pursuit of their relationship. Sonam said: "I am repenting it now." Independent