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Home / World

Male rape victim opens up over horrific effects of ordeal

NZ Herald
25 Jul, 2017 02:32 AM4 mins to read

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Sam was raped by two men shortly after moving to Manchester. Photo / Facebook / Maximum Music UK

Sam was raped by two men shortly after moving to Manchester. Photo / Facebook / Maximum Music UK

A young British man has opened up about how he was horrifically raped by two strangers, an incident that had him contemplating suicide.

Sam Thompson, 22, was on a night out when he was asked by a group of strangers to have a nightcap with them.

After a night of drinking he soon found himself in a hotel room with two men who then decided to rape him.

He told media site Unilad that during the ordeal he tried to block out what was happening, revealing a lot of the incident was a big blur.

The next morning Thompson woke up in a daze before walking back to his flat in shock.

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During his walk home he came across a bridge. What had unfolded the night before began to hit Thompson as he wrestled with the idea of ending his life before carrying on back to his flat.

He opened the door to find his best friend and girlfriend inside before bursting into tears and breaking down.

Thompson soon went to the police to report the incident, revealing the police response was off-putting.

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"I felt that I wasn't believed and their questions seemed irrelevant. They were asking me about my sexuality and whether I had ever cheated on my girlfriend," he told Unilad.

"I had gone to report something that was about consent.

"But when I went to St Mary's, which is where they take forensic evidence, the way that they dealt with me was brilliant and if I hadn't had the officer I had, I don't think I would have given all the evidence I gave.

"I think the police reacted in that way because they don't deal with males as often as they deal with females. Maybe they haven't got the same level of compassion as I think they should and this should change."

A month after the rape, Thompson spiralled into a dark place. He didn't leave the house for weeks while he would lose control by chucking chairs and tables as well as screaming that he wanted to die.

His relationship with his girlfriend soon ended and he moved back in with his parents in Newark, Nottinghamshire.

He developed suffocating anxiety and suffered panic attacks.

Thompson then had a big breakdown. He admitted he fell silent and bottled all his emotions in, refusing to talk about the ordeal.

"Male rape is still a taboo, Men are expected to be manly," he told internet news site Metro.

"But I wanted to end my life afterwards. I felt dirty and ashamed, like it was my fault. I didn't think rape could happen to me. It was never on my radar."

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He eventually decided to get therapy where after a month he began to open up to friends and family and discover his self worth again.

"The place I went to, Survivors Manchester, has this tagline, 'break the silence', which now I understand as the more you talk about these things the better you feel", he told Unilad.

Survivors Manchester supports male survivors of sexual abuse and offers clinical therapy, group therapy, sessions on mindfulness and they also work with Greater Manchester Police to help teach them how to tackle this subject.

The 22-year-old is now in a much better place and is fundraising for Survivors Manchester, so far raising more than $9300.

He also plans to raise awareness about male rape.

"I want to raise awareness about male rape as before this happened to me I didn't realise that it can happen to males, and my friends and family had the same thoughts as well.

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"It doesn't make you any less of a man and people will believe you and will support you. It is very hard but you need to give them trust."

HELPLINE

Where to get help:

• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• Samaritans 0800 726 666
• If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

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