He rides horses bare-chested ... throws men over his back for fun ... hunts whales with a crossbow ... invades neighbouring countries on a whim.
Is there anything Vladimir Putin can't do? Apparently not, because Vlad the badass is back - and this time he's driving an F1 car.
It is the latest in a long line of public "tough guy" stunts by the Russian Prime Minister, and certainly the most high octane.
The image building started a few years ago - he marched through Siberia sans shirt, rifle in hand, stern look on his face. Let's try to overlook the moobs.
It's got to a point now where his Alpha male image is so assured he was pictured this week hugging a Bulgarian puppy dog. A big, lolloping puppy dog. It's the kind of thing Kevin Rudd or John Key would do.
Russians, forever used to drunk, bushy-eyebrowed totalitarians as their leaders, love Putin's exploits. They far surpass those of Boris Yeltsin, limited as he was to dad dancing, climbing on tanks and blowing up Parliament.
I don't know if Putin has a son (I'm thinking he should have several), but I'd love to be privy to the dad comparisons at his school.
"My dad owns a Lada." "Oh yeah? My dad owns your dad."
"My dad once managed to outrun a bear." "Oh yeah? A bear once managed to outrun my dad."
How does he measure up to the rugged Kiwi bloke? Earlier this month the Herald published a "real man" test of 10 tasks. They included "build a fence" (ha! Vlad's rebuilt an empire), "catch and gut a fish" (remember that whale thing?), "tie a Double Windsor" (compulsory KGB training).
A perfect score, I reckon. Putin would probably give himself an 11, and no one would argue. But for me, his latest displays are a drop of the ball. F1 driving, as fast and furious as it is, doesn't really move the man higher. It doesn't beat diving to the bottom of Baikal, the world's deepest lake (he did that earlier this year). Nor tranquillising a polar bear to take its measurements (same trip, I think).
So herein lies the problem: Locked into a spiralling show of machismo, our Russian on a mission needs to up the ante with every display. If he's running out of ideas, here are my suggestions:
* Vlad invades Georgia - on his own.
* Vlad strangles man with cordless phone.
* Vlad counts to infinity - twice.
* Vlad goes to a Russian bare-knuckle fight with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Oh hold on, that last one was real.
Should Putin decide to leave politics and power, he has options. My theory is he's lining up a new career as Russia's answer to Chuck Norris. Think about it. He's a famed martial arts black belt, and his straight-to-video action flicks are produced at an alarming rate, each one more ridiculous than the last.
In fact, has anyone seen Chuck and Vlad in the same room together? I think questions should be asked.
* Graeme Baker is the Herald's news editor
<i>Graeme Baker:</i> Vlad the badass is back but upping the ante is getting harder to do
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