Duncan Gillies: More to Gaga than meat and eye steak

Opinion

Call me old-fashioned but I see eating as just one of those things I have to do.

I'm a relatively unsophisticated man. My days follow a simple pattern. I wake, I eat, I pretend to work, I sleep. Having said that, if it was as easy to go for days without eating as it is to go for days without shaving, I might grow a beard but I wouldn't skip many meals.

But now I realise I may be underestimating the power of food when it comes to making a statement.

This week Lady Gaga accepted an award at the MTV Music Video awards in Los Angeles wearing a meat dress created by butcher/designer Franc Fernandez.

The reaction was immediate. Never before had so many OMGs been tweeted around the world at one time.

Some people even tweeted OMG followed by a string of exclamation marks which, when you consider tweeting allows you to say nothing in only a handful of characters, is saying something.

Animal rights group Peta saw it as cruel and said Gaga's meat dress would have been full of maggots.

Later, Gaga told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, who is a vegan: "Well, it is certainly no disrespect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian. If we don't stand up for what we believe in and if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And I am not a piece of meat."

So why did she do it?

News agency Agence France Presse said the most common theory was that it was a sign of support for gays in the United States military and opposition to the "don't ask, don't tell" policy on homosexuals in the ranks.

What an idiot I am for not seeing that.

Cher, who appeared on stage with Gaga and who held the star's meat purse when she received her award, was most impressed.

"The way it was cut and fitted to her body was AMAZING! Meat purse was genius! As Art piece it was astonishing! No moral Judgment!" she said on Twitter. High praise from someone who knows a thing or two about dressing up as lamb.

The Gaga dress debate got me thinking about the actions of another great American, professional eater Joey Chestnut.

The 28-year-old from San Jose, California, ranked first in the world by the International Federation of Competitive Eating, has made a name for himself scoffing hot dogs. He can eat 68 in 10 minutes.

I imagine if there was a natural disaster heading towards your city and the only road out was blocked because a hot dog truck had overturned, he's the type of guy you'd be happy see to arrive on the scene. "Step back, I'm a trained professional."

But it was his performance at the New Mexico State Fair in Albuquerque last weekend that made me wonder if competitive eating could help break down barriers.

Tensions have been high between neighbours the United States and Mexico over who's really to blame for the drug violence in Mexico and over the treatment of illegal immigrants in the US.

Chestnut, though, wasn't about to let any border row get in the way and ate a winning 47 burritos in 10 minutes.

No doubt Chestnut would underplay the diplomatic significance of his efforts, but it must be noted that these weren't some mild Gringo imitation burritos. No, they were the real thing, with beef, beans and green chilli.

And I'd like to think that while Chestnut was forcing those burritos down his throat at a rate of one every 12.7 seconds, he was thinking of the the acceptance and understanding his efforts might encourage. Imagine what he could achieve it there were an eating competition that would bring together the foods of the Middle East.

Such an idea may be hard to digest but that's often a problem with spicy food.

In the spirit of fashion week

Some other designs Lady Gaga could try:

1 The light bulb-ous bra: A shiny, eye-catching number that never dims when the lights go down.

2 The gladiatorial breastplate and skirt: Brings a hard edge, specks of blood and sand to any red-carpet stroll. Russell Crowe has some second-hands.

3 The creme brulee strapless number: When the meat dress starts to stink, it's time for dessert.

4 A shark-fin jacket, cow-hide skirt, and sparkly skull-decorated boots: The ultimate cross between Damien Hurst and Alexander McQueen. She's getting there.

5 It's so normal it's radical: A nicely tailored suit.

- Nicola Lamb