Former NSW Police Force officer Ashley Bryant, 44, suffered from PTSD before taking his own life in 2013. Photo / Supplied
In the final heartbreaking messages former homicide detective Ashley Bryant left for his children the day before he took his own life, he told them to look after their mum.
"Sorry that I won't be with you for Christmas this year," Australian Detective Sergeant Ashley Bryant, 44, wrote in a Christmas card he posted to his 5-year-old daughter.
"You are always in my heart and will always be my 'little bear'."
The messages have been revealed at the New South Wales inquest into the death of Bryant after his widow, nurse Deborah Bryant, said she wanted the whole story of his tragedy to come out because hundreds of other police officers and their families were "crying out for help" as they battled both PTSD and insurance companies, reports news.com.au.
Bryant - who leapt to his death from Minyon Falls in the Byron Bay hinterland on December 16 in 2013 - wrote to his oldest son, then aged 12: "Hi Mate. This week has been the hardest week of my life.
"I miss you guys terribly. I'm getting my life back on track ... look after mum, she will need all your help and emotional strength."
To his other son, then aged 9, Bryant wrote: "Hey Buddy. Not many days to Christmas now. Sorry that I will not be with you to celebrate Christmas ... be strong and be good for mum. I love you with all of my heart. Love Dad xxxooo."
Ms Bryant, 47, who is undergoing treatment for stage three breast cancer, told the inquest the couple had separated seven days before his death after 20 years of marriage because of his heavy drinking brought on by the stress of the job and after being denied a hurt on duty pension.
She received an emotional standing ovation from serving and former police officers in the packed public gallery of Glebe Coroner's Court after she gave evidence last week.
She revealed how her husband's PTSD and depression affected the whole family when he became "very angry at everyone and everything".
"He would yell at our children and at me over trivial matters until it got to the point where home became chaos," she said.
"Our boys started to get in trouble at school for aggressive behaviour with multiple negative comments in their school diaries."
Ms Bryant has specifically asked NSW State Coroner Michael Barnes to look at how the handling of his claim for a hurt on duty pension contributed to his suicide.
He was discharged from the police medically unfit in December 2012 after a 24-year career which included stints at country stations and the homicide and unsolved homicide squads.
He was diagnosed with PTSD by his own treating specialists but had to deal with three insurance companies each with their own doctors and numerous case managers and refused a full pension because they thought he could do less-stressful work.
Bryant leapt to his death after an emergency call, which he told the operator he wanted played to the coroner so other officers and their families didn't go through what he and his family had.
Where to get help in New Zealand:
Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7) Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7) Youthline: 0800 376 633 Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7) Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm) Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7) Samaritans 0800 726 666 If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.