The past few months of ugly headlines have given us one clear potential answer to these questions. Pictured are Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Charlie Rose. Photos / AP
Harassment cases become clearer as charges mount.
Our recent and overdue reckoning with sexual harassment and sexual assault has prompted some concerns.
Will a wave of testimony lead to a prudish overcorrection? Will simple misunderstandings and single acts that are foolish but not violent lead men to be lumped in with predators when they don't deserve it?
Thankfully, the past few months of ugly headlines have given us one clear potential answer to these questions: If there's a pattern of behaviour, and of people feeling victimised, you can be pretty sure you're not dealing with a misunderstanding or with innocent actions one person is simply too prudish to handle.
An instructive example of this debate came this month when Leeann Tweeden came forward to say Senator Al Franken (Democrat, Minnesota), had sexually harassed her while they were on a United Service Organisations (USO) tour together in 2006.
The news cycle jumped into overdrive, with arguments about why Franken should stay in the Senate or about the distinction between Franken's conduct and more violent offences flying thick and fast.
The assumption seemed to be that Tweeden's allegation was the whole basis of the case against Franken. But if we've learned anything since Harvey Weinstein's conduct was exposed by the New York Times and the New Yorker in October, it ought to be this: The first accusation of sexual misconduct by a powerful man is rarely the last one.
I was sadly unsurprised when a woman came forward to say Franken grabbed her behind while taking a picture with her at a fair in 2010.
One of the most frightening things about our confrontation with the reality that sexual harassment, abuse and assault are widespread is the numbers, not just of men who carry out these acts but also of women each man targets.
The Times just suspended star journalist Glenn Thrush after four women, including the writer Laura McGann, recounted stories in which Thrush allegedly made advances on them after events involving alcohol; in some cases, they felt that he retaliated against them after they refused his advances.
Five women told the Times comedian Louis C.K. had harassed them, including where he masturbated in front of them or while on the phone with them.
Eight women told the Post TV host Charlie Rose harassed them, putting his hand on their thighs, appearing naked in front of them and making disturbing phone calls.
Nine women have said Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore pursued them as teenagers or initiated sexual conduct with them when they were under age.
The Old Vic theatre in London found 20 people who said Kevin Spacey, while serving as artistic director, had behaved inappropriately towards them, and that's not counting the claims against him in the United States.
By October 27, 80 women had accused Weinstein of harassment and assault.
Literally hundreds of women have alleged that director James Toback sexually harassed them.
Sometimes, these multiple allegations are a reflection on us as much as the alleged perpetrator. Rape is an evil act, and if it takes multiple allegations of rape to convince us that a man is a rapist, that's a reflection on us, not an argument that you have to rape more than one woman to be considered an evil person.
But for lesser, but still reprehensible acts, part of confronting our culture of sexual harassment and sexual violence is recognising that not only do a shockingly large number of men do this but also they each do it to a lot of women. Sexual harassment and other sexual misconduct on this scale are serial acts, and the people who carry it out have identifiable modus operandi. They put themselves in situations where they can drink with much younger female colleagues. They ask women up to hotel rooms for ostensibly professional meetings. They cruise the mall. Like former President George H.W. Bush - and now, allegedly, Franken - they touch women's behinds when they pose for pictures with them.
These are not the same men who ask a co-worker out once and take no for an answer, or who hug a co-worker with whom they would normally shake hands in a moment of professional elation. I hope we can all agree there is a clear difference between a single awkward conversation or a single misinterpretation and a man who repeatedly puts himself into those circumstances. A one-off error of judgment isn't hard to distinguish from a clear pattern of behaviour.
That's why the second person who comes forward with a claim of sexual harassment about a man is just as brave and important as the first person. Every person's testimony helps us see more clearly who the man in question really is.