Florida, get back in your old box

By DAVID USBORNE - HERALD CORRESPONDENT

NEW YORK - Message to Florida: would you please settle down now and get back to what you are supposed to be doing?

Cocooning seniors in your balmy breezes, serving margaritas by your beaches and tending to your Disney theme parks. Popping out of the box like that and holding the United States hostage for an entire month is not in your job description.

But what did we expect? All year, the candidates flattered Florida to death, working harder than in any other state to woo the voters.

So when Election Day came, and America was meant to move from campaign to transition, Florida decided it had enjoyed itself far too much to allow the game to finish. It had discovered it liked being the centre of everyone's attention.

And, as we now know, it has a talent for it. Look at the Elian Gonzalez saga. It took the country seven months to figure out that the best place for him was back in Cuba with his dad. And for all that time, it was the mockingbird state that filled America's television screens.

In truth, many in the state began to regret very quickly that the spotlight was on them.

More jokes have been told about Florida on late-night TV in recent weeks than were ever invented for Monica Lewinsky. "How many Floridians does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows, because they haven't finished counting them yet.

Even the wrinklies of Palm Beach and Fort Lauderdale are feeling bruised. The nation has been laughing at them too. Those poor old dears who can't tell the difference between Buchanan and Gore.

The rest of America now sees that Florida is much more than its caricature of retirement communities and alligator swamps. And Florida has learned that hogging centre-stage is not always to its advantage.

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