Jonathan Milne: Frankly, we're bored

Staying up to watch Charles' and Diana's wedding was a late night for a seven-year-old. Wrapped up in crocheted blankets, we watched as Lady Di walked up the aisle with a white train as long as the Orient Express.

By the time Edward married Sophie Rhys-Jones, I was a journo propped up in the corner of the Panther Public House in London's East End, watching on television while local Irishmen entertained with a scurrilous commentary.

Now Charles has finally been granted approval to marry Camilla Parker Bowles, though the divorcees had to wait until the Archbishop of Canterbury had given approval, and the Queen had tested the wind of public opinion.

When they marry, I may tune in on television again, but more likely not. And when he visits New Zealand next month as part of his "Spring Tour" - which his Clarence House spokeswoman assures me he is looking forward to - he'll be lucky to get crowds of even a few dozen in Auckland, Wellington and Otago.

Response to this week's wedding announcement seemed, frankly, bored. The Prime Minister Helen Clark sent a letter (perhaps she could give them a plastic tiki as a wedding present) and so did Monarchist League chairman Noel Cox, ever gracious despite my regular republican rants. Keen to avoid accusations of churlishness, my good friends in the Republican Movement popped out a press release wishing their best, but questioning the "arcane" laws that delayed the couple's nuptials while suffocating New Zealand's constitution in a clingwrap of anachronism.

Actually, that is my paraphrase - they were far more diplomatic.

And that was it. Nobody cared.

But as Parliament begins a review of the constitution, we should care.

While few today would argue against allowing a divorced prince to remarry, it is reminiscent of the way his ancestor King Henry VIII changed the rules to suit himself, allowing him to take a new Queen.

And still the monarchy retains the antiquated rules that make it England's biggest tourist attraction: males take precedence over females, Catholics are barred entirely.

It is as deliciously old-fashioned and anachronistic as cooking Yorkshire Puddings in lard for Christmas dinner - and equally hard to digest on a New Zealand summer's afternoon on the beach.

Our king-to-be remains out of touch with his subjects: a few months ago he bemoaned the modern tendency to encourage servants to over-reach their natural ability in seeking promotion.

One would question what "natural ability" Charles has displayed qualifying him to be New Zealand's head of state. In this corner of the world, we believe in giving the job to the best applicant - but New Zealanders are not even allowed to apply for this job.

- Herald on Sunday