We all knew this day would come. The only question was when.
Donald Trump got some toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
The leader of the free world and commander-in-chief of its most powerful military unwittingly brought the intruder aboard Air Force One today as he prepared to fly out of Minneapolis.
Unfortunately for him, but very fortunately for everyone else, it was caught on camera.
Look, technically, news.com.au has been unable to confirm whether the object in question was toilet paper, a tissue or some bizarrely adhesive torn-out notebook page. But come on. We've all been to the bathroom. We know what this stuff looks like.
Its job done, the paper detached itself from Trump's shoe as he entered the aircraft's cabin. One of the people accompanying the president then picked it up.
Its current location is unknown, but we can probably assume it is being interrogated by the FBI in a dark cell.
Adding to the intrigue, Trump had just emerged from his presidential limousine, The Beast, which is not equipped with a bathroom. How long had that thing been attached to him? How did none of his aides notice? What is the Secret Service even there for, if not to avert scenarios like this?
These are all good questions.
I look forward to learning how the Deep State, directed by the Clintons, managed to plant the offending piece of paper on Trump's footwear as part of a convoluted plot to resume the operations of their pizzeria-based child sex trafficking ring.
Anyway why are you still reading these words? Just watch the video already. It will make your day.
Several Assad allies, including Maher and Mamlouk, sought refuge in Russia and Lebanon.