"I'd love to take it back. I'd love to still have him and her here."
Tony Green was a Covid-19 denier. The Dallas man, a supporter of Donald Trump, believed the pandemic was a hoax designed to cause panic and hurt Trump's re-election changes.
That's until the 43-year-old was hospitalised with the virus.
After hosting a family event at his home, 12 of his family members contracted Covid-19.
Two of them died.
He wishes he could have them back. But Green is now speaking out in a bid to help save others from holding the same fatal beliefs he once did.
"I'd like to have the opportunity to go back and save others and take this whole thing much more seriously," he told ABC news.
In an oped column, Green said: "Having been a denier, carelessly shuffling through this pandemic, making fun of those wearing masks and social distancing, leads me to believe my actions convinced both our families it was safe when it wasn't."
Speaking about how Covid affected him, he described the virus as taking the air and soul out of his body.
"Imagine the sound and vibration of an old-fashioned electric heater going through your whole body. Imagine gasping for air with every step you take.
"Imagine rubbing icy hot all over your head to soothe a painful headache. Imagine your eyes in a bowl of water while you're still seeing through them.
"Imagine collapsing and waking up in the ER only to find out Covid-19 attacked your central nervous system and the doctor had just saved you from a stroke."
If that was bad enough, Green now lives with the guilt of being responsible for giving his family the virus that eventually killed two of them.
More than 210,000 Americans have so far died from Covid-19, Trump tested positive, and each day the Republicans and Democrats continue to disagree over how to handle the ongoing pandemic.
Green's original views were backed by Trump.
"Now the Democrats are politicising the coronavirus," Trump said at a packed rally in Charleston, South Carolina, on February 28, as reported US cases neared 70.
"This is their new hoax," he said.
Now, hundreds of thousands are dead.
While he's still voting for Trump, Green wants people on both sides of the political spectrum to understand the severity of the pandemic.
"My concern is that people are still either denying or downplaying the virus and thinking that somehow it really is about the election," Green told ABC.
"And for some, it may be, but, you know, people's lives are at stake, including your own."
In his op-ed, he warned of the dangers deniers pose to others.
"For those who deny the virus exists or downplay the severity of this virus; it is very real and extremely contagious. Before knowing you have it you've passed it along to your friends, family, coworkers and neighbours.
"Husbands, wives, and children are being separated. The sick taking care of the sick while those without symptoms are self-quarantining. I am aware of how my bias could discredit me with some, but trust me, you do not want this virus.
"And you do not want your loved ones suffering and dying from this because you are taking a 'political stand' or protecting the economy over what may be their life next. We are all at the precipice of a common heartache.
"To do nothing is to be foolish. To ignore or question the validity of this virus, its contagion, or the consequences of selfish attitudes at this stage is completely stupid.
"I am calling myself out first. I was 50/50, but it was not personal then like it is now. I fell on my sword. If we continue being more worried about the disruption to our lives than we are at stopping this virus, listen to me, not one American will be spared."
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