KEY POINTS:
As her 30th birthday approaches, a gaggle of aunts and family friends have been working themselves into a husband-hunting frenzy.
Conscious that the courting window is closing, they have narrowed down the prospective husband wish-list to a single requirement. "It's basically anyone with a heartbeat," Ghada Abdel Aal sighs.
Enter the unsuitable suitors - a paranoid vice-detective, a hirsute fundamentalist and an amnesiac who neglected to mention his first wife and children living overseas.
In the past five years, Ghada reckons there have been at least 30 prospective grooms paraded before her.
And while her aunts' generation would have been paired off with the first man who came a-calling, the Egyptian pharmacist not only said "No", she turned her matchmaking horror stories into a blog - "Wanna-b-a-bride". And it struck such a chord with Egypt's singletons, it has been turned into a bestselling book.
"I am one out of 15 million girls who are pressured on a daily basis by their society to get married," Ghada said from her hometown of Mahalla.
"A girl is not supposed to be actively seeking something, she simply exists for someone to marry ... to say she wants something is seen as impolite."
This 29-year-old, although a traditionalist who covers her hair, is not afraid to say what she wants (or doesn't want).
Her book - which has sold almost 15,000 copies since it was published in February - lifts the veil on Egypt's gawaaz al-salonat or living-room marriages. These are not so much arranged marriages as suggested ones.
Through expansive social networks, potential pairings are identified. The male suitor then visits the female's home for stilted conversation over tea.
It is these vignettes - culled from her own life and those of her friends - which the first-time novelist brings to life in all their awkward glory.
One of Ghada's favourite anecdotes is the one that planted the seed for her first blog. The protagonist is a seemingly very decent chap, whose one downfall proves to be an unhealthy obsession with football.
In the middle of their first meeting, he leans across her to switch on the television and watch the game.
It gets worse. "He found out I supported the rival club and that was that. I was off his list. It was very strange. Who does that?"
Ghada's family failed to see the problem, though.
"You can switch teams. What's the big deal?" she remembers. "I started to doubt myself - maybe they were right and I was wrong. It was ridiculous."
Across the Middle East, marriage is seen as the gateway to independence, sexual activity and societal respect, not to mention a religious obligation.
Ghada has not given up on finding Mr Right. "In Egypt, I think the women are stronger than the men, and have bigger personalities. I want a guy with a strong personality, but someone who is also open-minded.
"If I turn 30 and I'm not married, maybe all the matchmakers will just give up and finally stop annoying me," she says hopefully.
- INDEPENDENT
