KEY POINTS:
TOKYO - Their role models are Johnny Depp and David Beckham - fashionable fathers who treasure time with their children.
More and more Japanese men are aiming to join the ranks of the "cool dads", in sharp contrast to their own fathers who were known for their "work-till-you-drop" and "leave-the-kids-to-the-wife" lifestyles.
Magazines have sprung up to guide fathers on everything from "Child-rearing, the Male Way" to "How to Become a Beloved Dad".
"We're no longer living in an era when it's expected that men go out and women stay home," said Tomohiro Shimizu, publisher of FQ Japan and father of a 3-year-old son. FQ stands for Father's Quarterly.
"Fathers in their 30s and 40s still feel a bit ashamed of being a doting parent. We want to change that, spread the image that it's natural, that it's cool."
The first issue of FQ Japan, which went on sale last month, featured Depp and the words "Be a Cool Dad" on the cover.
The magazine also ran interviews with celebrity fathers and had information on parenting products, such as "stylish" buggies.
FQ was first published in Britain in 2003. Shimizu said that when he raised the idea at the time of making a Japanese edition, colleagues said it wouldn't sell.
Perceptions gradually changed, and several parenting magazines aimed at the male reader are now on sale. Some focus on education and others even on fashion tips for the stylish father.
"Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, David Beckham - the cool guys, they all have children," said Kiyohiko Okubo, publisher of Oceans, an up-market fashion magazine. One recent issue ran a feature headlined: "The Coolest Fashion for a Stylish Dad".
"Some playboy-types may have thought it was cool to go out secretly with a woman, make that the highlight of their week," said Okubo, who used to work for a magazine aimed at such readers until he started publishing Oceans in February last year.
"But more and more men are starting to feel that the highlight should be time with their family."
Tetsuya Ando, 44, who set up Papa's Picturebook Project with other fathers to hold book readings for children, said the economic downturn in the late 1990s led people to realise that there were more important things in life than work.
"With the bursting of the bubble economy and the corporate restructuring that followed, everyone realised that you can't feel fulfilled with just work," said Ando.
One such father is Yuji Yamamoto, who says even changing nappies for his 7-month-old daughter is fun.
"Changing nappies, preparing baby food, it's so exhausting," said Yamamoto, 36, an official at a Government ministry.
"But every day her face changes and seeing that is great. It's so much fun."
Ando said that when his group's reading sessions started three years ago, almost all children were accompanied by mothers. Now, more fathers attended.
But some some fathers still struggle to bond with their children.
"Sometimes I would spot fathers who don't laugh and who don't look relaxed," Ando said. "They want to take part in child-rearing, but they don't know how."
Ando faulted his father's generation - the engine behind Japan's rise to the number two spot in the world's economy - for being unable to find a work-family balance.
And hurdles still remain high at Japan Inc, as the country is often called, for fathers to cut down on their work hours to spend more time with their families.
A survey by education and lifestyle firm Benesse last year showed that compared to their counterparts in other Asian cities, fathers in Tokyo went home the latest, with the largest percentage returning to their families after 11pm.
"This is outrageous by global standards. We have to speak out and say it's crazy," said Ando.
That's something Yamamoto, like many elite bureaucrats, who often ends up working past midnight, would welcome.
"I'd like to put family over work," he said. "But these days, I often don't get home until early morning."
- REUTERS
