Winston Aldworth: Standing up for the right to stand up

Photo / Thinkstock

The news from Germany is sehr gut!

A court in Dusseldorf has upheld the right of men to stand and deliver when urinating. In recent years, there's been a bitter divide about stehpinklers (men who stand up to pee) and sitzpinklers (those weirdo guys who sit down to pee).

Those in favour of sitting down cite health and cleanliness. Those of us on the stehpinklers' side have millions of years of evolution to back us up. Plus, I have the aim of a marksman.

Yes, a man should always be accurate. And if he does make a mess, he must clean it.

The sit/stand debate made things awkward for tourists. Signs in restaurants and bars ("Hier wird sitzend gepinkelt" or "Here one pees sitting down") encouraged male tourists to remain seated for the duration of the performance. Like all right-thinking men, I'm a standing ovation kind of guy.

"Despite the increasing domestication of men in this area, urinating while standing up is indeed still common practice," said Judge Stefan Hank, when deciding a case involving a landlord, a tenant and a wee-stained floor.

The wisdom of Solomon! I stand and salute the judge's decision.