Stef Allison planned a nine-country trip after her wedding - without her husband. Photo / Stephanie Allison
Stef Allison planned a nine-country trip after her wedding - without her husband. Photo / Stephanie Allison
A honeymoon is, by its very definition, a holiday in which loved-up couples revel in their post-marital bliss: gazing into each other's eyes, walking hand-in-hand on the beach, chewing at opposite ends of the same strand of spaghetti, and that kind of thing.
It is so well established as such that whenever one of the two necessary parties is absent - such as in the recent case of a new wife forced to honeymoon alone due to a visa mishap - the whole trip is considered a headline-making disaster.
But this Sydney woman has bucked the trend by voluntarily ditching her husband for the honeymoon, and she reckons it's one of the best things she's done.
After marrying her new husband, Doug Allison, in Croatia in three months ago, Stephanie Allison - who is still happily married, to be clear - left him behind to embark on a solo honeymoon.
After Croatia she went to Germany, Switzerland, Iceland, Czech Republic, France, Austria, Belgium, and will end the trip next week in the UK.
And as her whirlwind European adventure winds to a close, the independent traveller told news.com.au why she did it alone - and what her hubby thought of it all.
How did the idea for the solo honeymoon come about?
I was speaking to my housemate about travelling by myself and how I was scared of it but she was very experienced in travelling by herself (even though she has been with her husband for a long time too) and she encouraged me to get of my comfort zone and do it.
'I squealed and yelled with joy when I saw the northern lights,' Stephanie said of her trip to Iceland. Photo / Stephanie Allison
I definitely felt that this was something I needed to do for myself to overcome my fear and get out of my comfort zone. I thought it would be a complimentary way for me to experience the transition I have gone through in my life (quitting my job, changing career direction and choosing to live a more fulfilling life, moving out of one house, moving into another and off course getting married).
I hesitantly ran the idea past my fiance as I was not expecting the best response - because who goes on a solo holiday after they get married? - but he actually said that he was going to suggest it himself. So I chose some random dates and booked my return tickets!
How does your husband feel about missing out on all the fun?
I think he is a little envious about some of the things I have experienced but overall he is very proud of me for conquering my fears and getting out of my comfort zone.
We have all our lives to travel and do things together but this has been a good reminder that just because we are married and are a couple (we've been together for 13 years) we are not joined at the hip and in order for each of us to feel fulfilled and happy within ourselves we need to pursue our own individual dreams too.
Plus, I'm a little envious that he gets cuddles everyday from our cat, dog and ferret. I miss them very much (and him too!). He's been sending me lots of photos of our fur babies.
What reactions have you received?
I initially didn't think that much of the solo honeymoon (as I like to call it) but whenever I tell anyone they are always very surprised, shocked or think I'm nuts. Because it's not really custom to get married and then straight away go off on a holiday adventure on your own. So it's definitely raised eyebrows and people are always concerned about what my husband thinks of it.
But he's an amazing person and he is fully supportive. Plus, he's my husband, not my owner ... I can follow my dreams if I want to!
For me, it's been a very empowering experience and I believe it has already positively affected our relationship and will continue to do so. I think that a lot of women kind of like the idea of it after they get over the initial shock of it.
You met another traveller who was also on a solo honeymoon. Is it becoming a trend?
I think this was a complete coincidence - we had a good laugh - but I would love for this to become a trend! I would love to see more empowered female solo travellers out there, living their dreams, with amazing partners behind them that support them.
Stef meets Stefs. Photo / Stephanie Allison
It would be awesome to see more couples that support each other's individual goals. I'd even like to see solo husband travellers too. I think it's just a sign of love and trust.
But I also understand that it's not for everyone. However, if someone's intuition is drawn to this, then it would be great if they took action upon it. I think they would find it very fulfilling.
What have you learnt from the experience so far?
So much! I'm not as introverted as I thought I was - I actually can get along really well with people and love being around people and look forward to making many more friends.
I need to raise my standards when it comes to setting goals and then reaching them. I feel stronger now, I feel like I was in a comfort zone before and that I was wishy-washy with what I wanted in life. Now I feel inspired, I have so many ideas on what I would love to do and I'm going to achieve them by up-levelling myself.
Riding a horse in Iceland's incredible landscape was another highlight. Photo / Stef Allison
I'm actually quite capable of planning - I used to shy away from planning stuff and was quite unorganised but am starting to learn that it can be very enjoyable.
Now that I have had the chance to be away from my husband for a long period of time I realise that sometimes I take him and our wonderful relationship for granted. I am going to focus more on being present with him in our relationship from now on and focusing on communicating with each other better. I miss him and can't want for his cuddles.
Would you recommend other people try a solo honeymoon?
I understand that this isn't everyone's cup of tea but it was something that my intuition was drawing me to and I knew I needed to do this for myself. So if there are other people out there who feel their intuition pulling them towards this and they know they have a solid, trusting relationship and each others support then I say go for it! Put it on your bucket list and do it!
The newlywed says her solo honeymoon has strengthened her relationship with her husband, as well as with herself. Photo / Stephanie Allison
