KEY POINTS:
People's tastes in holidays can be as different and as personal as, well, their choice of underwear.
Many Kiwis are attracted to the gold lame thong of the Gold Coast. But the slightly shyer, more cultured state of Victoria is by far the more interesting personality.
Victoria is home to the Great Southern Touring Route, a circuit that takes in the Great Ocean Road, Grampians and Ballarat Goldfields.
The starting point is Melbourne, a city that shares (and caters to) a woman's love of both shops and chocolate (the fabulous KoKo Black chocolate boutique manages to combine the two). But if you drag yourself outdoors, take a trip down the coast to Geelong, less than an hour away.
The only thing I knew about Geelong was that it was home to Geelong Grammar School, where the palace sent Prince Charles for two terms in 1966.
But that was then. These days the locals are more crazy on cats than Charles. Specifically the Geelong Cats, the AFL team that was top of the table when I visited.
If being in the middle of a roaring 40,000-strong crowd at the home stadium isn't quite the holiday experience you're after, Geelong's redeveloped waterfront has much to offer.
Along with ocean views and good food, the waterfront is home to the Bollards; 103 painted wooden sculptures created by artist Jan Mitchell and positioned around the arc of Corio Bay. It's a gorgeous walk on a good day.
Heading south on the surf coast you come to Torquay, home of Australian surfing, where it's well worth visiting the Surfworld museum.
Bells Beach, a short drive away, is the place to watch surfers on their boards. One wag's advice written on the wall at the museum - "When you're half a kilometre out to sea with a two-metre swell and you've lost your board, you realise why you gotta be in good shape" - are surfie words to live (or survive) by.
Torquay also marks the start of the Great Ocean Road opened 75 years ago and justly famous for its spectacular views along the coast.
There are plenty of places to stay along the Great Ocean Road - you can try a different locale every night or base yourself in one of the pretty, relaxed seaside towns for a couple of days while taking in the sights nearby.
We stayed overnight at Cumberland Resort in Lorne, and had the most fantastic meal at the Aqua Bar and Restaurant. Two other trips for your must-do lists: a helicopter flight over the 12 Apostles, a group of giant rock stacks off the coast; and a visit to Flagstaff Hill, which brilliantly recreates life in a 19th-century port town.
This area is known as the shipwreck coast and there's a marvellous interactive display that shows you just how awful the journey out from Britain must have been for settlers. I will never complain about airline food or a 24-hour flight again. While you're there, make sure you take a look at the Loch Ard Peacock, Australia's most famous shipwreck treasure.
If all this gadding about sounds a bit much, the perfect spot to recoup is Port Fairy, a delightful holiday and fishing village beside the Moyne River. It's a fantastic Aussie rural town, and home to the Caledonian Inn, the oldest licensed hotel in Victoria.
It also has terrific cafes, tiny art galleries and knick-knack shops - and an 18-hole golf course that overlooks Port Fairy Bay. Nice.
Obviously, it's going to take some large incentives to prise you from the place. But the best wine list in Australia should do the trick.
It's located at the Royal Mail Hotel in Dunkeld, an hour's drive inland from Port Fairy. The Royal Mail also has spectacular views of the Grampians. If you're into hill walking, hiking - oh, and wineries - this is the perfect spot.
The last bit of the circuit took us from Dunkeld to Ballarat, which has staked its claim to the gold mining history of Victoria. Check out the light and sound spectacular, Blood on the Southern Cross, at Sovereign Hill, a recreation of the 1850s gold fields in the town. From there it's a 90-minute drive back to Melbourne and all that chocolate and shopping.
Charlotte Evans travelled to Australia courtesy of The Great New Zealand Touring Route and Great Southern Touring Route of Australia. Thanks to Tom Smith from Shipwreck Coast Tourism, Australia, and Qantas.
- Detours, HoS
