I have a travelling dream. It's the one in which the trip is organised by my personal assistant, I am never lost or confused because I have a personal guide and translator, and my bodyguard is beside me in the limo minding my platinum credit card.
Then I wake up and remember that real travelling involves seats designed for aliens, screaming children across the aisle, stolen valuables, plugs that don't fit, phones that don't go and permanently dishevelled clothes.
The good news is designers and manufacturers are constantly coming up with new travel gadgets aimed at making the journey - and the destination - easier and more comfortable.
Much of this equipment is available in department stores such as Smith & Caughey, luggage shops and outdoor shops such as Kathmandu (www.kathmandu.co.nz) and Snowgum (www.snowgum.com.au).
Increasingly you can also shop over the internet, where the range is almost limitless.
Former flight attendant Jill Gardner, from Auckland, started an online travel accessory business, Travel Comfortable (www.travelcomfortable.com), based on her experience of what makes for a comfortable flight.
"I know how airlines think, they just want to get bums on seats and get there safely, which is great," Jill says. "Nurturing passengers is not their job, so I thought, I'll do that."
Another excellent site is Australian-based www.menda.com.au, which will ship goods to New Zealand for a small fee.
The all-time tried and true travel gadget is the Swiss army knife - the classic model is made by Victorinox - although these days you have to be careful not to leave it in your hand luggage or it's likely to be confiscated.
You can choose from a small pocketknife that has fewer functions, or a larger knife with endless functions, ranging from corkscrews to toothpicks.
The smaller knives can be fiddly to handle, but don't be tempted to go overboard with functions you won't need.
A real ripper for the light traveller is the Swiss Card, which is the size of credit card, but thicker, with 11 functions that include slip-out scissors, tweezers and a screwdriver ($49.95).
Other manufacturers have enlarged on the theme. If you are planning a James Bond meets Steve Irwin-style travel adventure, you may wish to pick up a Leatherman Supertool ($249.95).
After you have wrestled your crocodile into submission you can use the Leatherman's wire cutters, wood saw and screwdrivers to build a cage for it.
If your aspirations are more literary than adventurous, you are not alone. To record your flashes of insight and wit you'll be needing a pen handy, and not just any pen, one that can withstand the most outrageous maltreatment.
This would be the Fisher Space Pen, so named because it is used by Nasa astronauts in space.
You can e-mail newzealand@fisherspacepen.com to find out where the pens are available near you, or visit the New Zealand distributors at their www.tightlines.co.nz website.
A pressurised ink cartridge and sturdy design means these gadgets will keep writing in Arctic temperatures and extreme heat, under water, upside down, in zero gravity and after being run over by a truck. Handy if you are planning a trip to Mars.
Your travelling style, however, may lean more towards creature comforts. .
The traditional travel pillow is passe, now we have pillows with in-built aromatherapy atomiser. The Design Go Aroma Snoozer dispenses pure essential lavender oil to help you relax and nod off (US$39.95).
For super snoozing luxury, you can go for a Travel Comfortable pillow cover in lambswool or possum fur (a pillow with possum fur cover costs $50.95).
Foam earplugs have also been superseded, by "attenuation filters" - earplugs that can be adjusted to filter noises of high frequency (background noise) or low frequency (snoring). These include airflow channels to maintain constant pressure between the inner and outer ear (Design Go, $34.95).
Some people will put up with any discomfort, filth or pestilence on the road as long as they can brew a nice hot cup of tea or coffee any time.
Travel jugs and water boilers are increasingly popular, many including stowaway drinking cups.
Korjo and Design Go both make travel jugs, for plugging in to electrical sockets or car cigarette lighters, costing around $80.
Korjo also produces a plug-in element, which can be plunged into a cup of water to boil it. This one can be handy in places where the water may not be safe.
Anything electrical will require an adaptor plug for use overseas. These are readily available in a range of brands.
While most of us on the road end up looking like we've been dragged backwards through a hedge, there are always those smug creatures who emerge magically uncreased each day, hair smoothed and shoes shined.
If glamour is your priority, try a travel iron with fold-down handle, or a steamer for clothes de-wrinkling. Again, there are several brands available, costing around $80.
Travel Comfortable has just released the Ezydry, an inflatable PVC torso to hang your shirt on to dry wrinkle-free after you've washed it in the hotel bathroom basin.
A range of travel hairdryers, makeup and jewellery cases are available in most travel shops.
Or you could make do with a folding hairbrush (Kathmandu's costs $5.95).
As the delightful Keisha Castle-Hughes showed with her Oscar text-messaging frenzy, one of the most important parts of the trip is being able to tell your friends back home about your adventures.
Cellphones are probably the easiest way to keep in touch, and one gadget that could be handy is a portable recharger.
Design Go has a phone recharger that adapts for different brands and runs on AAA batteries ($49.95).
And to avoid ringing home in the middle of the night - a good idea if you're asking for money - Go Travel offer a duo time clock (around $35) which gives the time both where you are and back in New Zealand.
Or Kathmandu has a natty electronic effort which also gives you the temperature ($39.90).
If you are away on business, or just one of those techno heads who can't leave home without their laptop, consider a set of modem and telephone adaptors.
These allow you to adapt your modem connection to plug into telephone sockets in more than 100 countries, for about $100.
Avoiding death is generally a good outcome for any trip, and the latest gadgets are aimed at fending off the new plague of airline travel - deep vein thrombosis.
There is a range of leg exercisers to choose from, including an inflatable model from Design Go that doubles as a footrest or back support ($24.95), and the Flik Flak in-flight leg exerciser, sold on-line by Travel Comfortable ($39).
Or, if the plane is nearly empty, you might manage a quick game using one of the new folding frisbees ($15.90) or footballs ($13.90).
Personal safety is also a big priority for travellers, and there are some destinations where a tourist may as well be carrying a sign saying Mug Me.
The money belt or pouch and luggage locks are the classic travel safety accessories and top sellers at most travel goods shops.
Kathmandu also sell a mini personal alarm ($9.55) that you can hang around your neck when heading back to the hotel late at night. When pulled off its cord, this baby emits and ear-piercing shriek likely to put off, or at least deafen, an attacker.
You can also attach this to a door to set off the alarm if an intruder tries to get in.
With the array of travel accessories out there, it is easy for gadget aficionados to go overboard.
But the number one rule of gadget buying is to ask yourself, do I really need it?
If you are off to Waiheke Island for the weekend, you can probably do without the personal global positioning system.
Korjo Travel Products (NZ) partner Ray Vail says sensible travellers steer clear of unnecessary extras.
"People try to keep their luggage down to as small an amount as possible," he says.
"They really only need something that is going to be practical to make their trip as safe and pleasant as possible."
But, if you really do need to take the kitchen sink, Snowgum has a collapsible one on special on its website at A$24.95.
* If you know of other useful travel gadgets, please send the details to travel@nzherald.co.nz
Travel gadgets
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