Travel advice: 8 things I’ve learned on cruise holidays around the world

1. There’s a cruise for everyone

I have a firmly held belief that people who think they don’t like cruises just haven’t found the right cruise yet. A cruise holiday doesn’t have to mean a big, white megaship full of waterslides (although I think they’re pretty fun too). These days the options are many and varied, from giants like Wonder of the Seas, to luxury liners like Regent Seven Seas, to boutique small ships like SeaDream, and expedition ships like Ponant’s Le Commandant Charcot. And I haven’t even got on to river cruising yet. I’ve been on about 10 different cruise holidays over the past 15 years and I’ve enjoyed something different on each of them. I think you will too.

2. Ask and you shall receive

My first cruise was five days on Celebrity Millenium, sailing from Miami to Jamaica and Grand Cayman and back but, as a total newbie, I had no idea what to expect . . . or what was expected of me. Embarking in the afternoon, I was shown to my cabin and told the sail away party with drinks and canapes would start at 6pm. It was only 2pm and I was starving. But rather than go out and explore - or ask the helpful cabin attendants to explain the lay of the land - I waited in my cabin until 6pm on the dot. I thought that was just the way things were done. Now a seasoned cruiser, I understand the thing most people love about this kind of holiday is that everything is available, all day and all night. If I had only explored further, I would have found all the food I could wish for, all-day entertainment and a whole ship full of company. My advice to other newbies: cruise ship staff are some of the nicest hospitality workers you are ever likely to encounter and they will be happy to help with even the stupidest questions. Whatever you’re looking for, just ask.

3. Going off the beaten track is even nicer when you can do it in luxury

It was a childhood dream to visit the Amazon but as someone who is terrified of creepy crawlies, I was never going to trek through the jungle by myself. Cue Aqua Expeditions, a boutique cruise company offering small ship sailings in the Galapagos, Mekong, the Spice Islands and the Peruvian Amazon. We got to walk through the dense, dripping humidity of the rainforest, but there was someone waiting to greet us with chilled towels and cool drinks as we got back on board. Then we could discuss our day over a fine-dining dinner menu from a Peruvian chef who also helmed two Michelin-starred restaurants, and later, sink between luxurious linen in the calm of our cabins (just 16 on board, making the experience even more exclusive). It was more than a decade ago, and I’ve had many epic trips since, but I still look back on this cruise as one of my all-time favourite adventures. If you want to go somewhere completely wild or off the beaten track, chances are there’s a cruise to get you there.

4. Bigger can be better

Some people baulk at the idea of sailing on one of the world’s biggest cruise ships but my experience on Royal Caribbean’s Symphony of the Seas was 100 per cent fun. I was on board for the ship’s inaugural sailing back in 2018 and I wrote of the experience “It’s vibrant, it’s loud, it’s non-stop entertainment; all fun, all day and all night.” The trip was less than 48 hours but I made the most of every moment - experiencing waterslides, laser tag, wave simulators, mini-golf, a zip-line, Broadway shows, drinks made by robot bartenders and much, much more. I appreciate this kind of ship is not going to be for everyone, but if you’re looking for a fun holiday with your kids or a group of mates, on a ship like this you can guarantee no one will be shouting “I’m bored”.

5. Small can be super

Ok, you hate crowds in confined places, no problem. How about a small ship adventure instead? I’ve travelled on a few sailings where the passenger list is in the tens, not the thousands, and you are always guaranteed a very special experience. One of my favourites was an Intrepid Travel adventure cruise on Croatia’s Adriatic Coast from Split to Dubrovnik. The benefits of a small ship are multiple - you get a more personalised experience, you get to spend quality time with everyone on board, your ship can go to places its bigger cousins can’t reach. In small Croatian ports like Korcula and Hvar, we literally stepped off the ship and were just moments away from the town’s historic highlights. One night in Korcula, I wasn’t quite ready to go to bed so I wandered the now-empty ancient streets of the walled old town before tootling back to bed, ready for the next day of excitement.

6. Try everything once

See #4 above and you’ll get a sense of my motto on cruise ships - try it all, whatever is on offer. You must eat from all the restaurants, get a drink from every bar, see all the shows, plus embrace your inner child and give all the waterslides a go. Try it all once, then you can return to your favourites during the rest of your journey. I enjoyed another 48-hour inaugural sailing on Norwegian Cruise Line’s Norwegian Bliss for its 2018 debut. I raced on the outdoor electric go-kart track, I danced at the silent disco, I watched Tony-award-winning musical Jersey Boys, I ate and drank at as many of the 30 hospitality venues as I could, and... I got stuck in a waterslide. It was a design fail, I promise, not because I overdid it at the buffet and it’s possibly the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me on a cruise ship. But it certainly makes for an entertaining story when I retell it.

7. Paris is always a good idea...

If you don’t like the idea of an ocean cruise, whether big ship or small, may I tempt you instead with a river cruise? If you love watching the world go by, with the chance to be immersed in the day-to-day lives of European towns and villages, this is certainly the cruise style for you. River cruise itineraries mostly see you sailing at night - leaving port while you sit down to dinner, and docking in the morning - meaning every day brings a new location to discover. On my Uniworld sailing from Paris to Normandy’s D-Day landing beaches and back again, we strolled the streets of Medieval Rouen, with a history so rich its former residents include William the Conqueror and Joan of Arc, and ate at the restaurant where American chef Julia Child experienced her first taste of French cooking. In Paris, I disembarked for a half-day bike tour then, back on board that night, watched the Eiffel tower illuminated for its hourly light show. The view was magnificent, as are the memories.

8. If you’re unsure, just jump in anyway

While NZ’s borders were closed and we were all gifted the opportunity to explore our own country with fresh eyes, I spent a blissful seven days on board Fiordland Discovery’s luxury catamaran, Fiordland Jewel. We ventured deep into Doubtful and Dusky Sounds, where we saw barely any other humans and it felt like perhaps we had fallen off the end of the Earth. It was winter and the water was a fresh 12-14C but that didn’t stop one of my fellow passengers, 90-something Noel, from diving off the boat’s aft deck every day for a polar plunge. There was no way we could let him show us up, so we did it too. My every natural instinct was to go back inside (my cabin is so cosy!), wrap up warm (why am I in togs!), and get a warming glass of wine (much better idea!). But instead, I jumped... and it was a feeling of pure invigoration. Back in Doubtful Sound last October, on an overnight cruise with RealNZ, I had another polar plunge opportunity and this time I barely hesitated. I knew the initial shock of the cold water would soon be replaced by joy and elation, and I was right . . . I ended up jumping in three times, one after the other.

So, whether you’re on board an expedition ship trying to work yourself up to a polar plunge or, more metaphorically, trying to decide if you should take the plunge and book a cruise holiday, my advice will always be to go for it. I know you won’t regret it.

For more stories, tips and advice about cruising, go to nzherald.co.nz/topic/cruise-holidays