A weekly ode to the joys of moaning about your holiday.
My holiday photos tell a lie. Not because I've airbrushed my teeth whiter, my belly smaller or my skin more golden (though all three are tempting), but because I'm an award-winner at making one day look like a week. This isn't the kind of deception of the vanity variety as just described, nor of someone who's inherently miserable but always pretends to be on the verge of reaching nirvana in their Instagram posts. I am genuinely mostly happy, but wow, one day I would love to learn the art of doing less.
As in, there was a particular day my wife and I had in Sri Lanka last year where we awoke in one of the top suites of the grand old Mount Lavinia Hotel just south of Colombo. Sitting on a cliff and overlooking the beach and the palm trees and pounding waves that separate Sri Lanka from India, we left one slice of paradise in search of — true to form — a week's worth of others.
Starting early, we battled through traffic to drop off a bag of laundry before finally leaving the outer urban clutches of Colombo. Minus the laundry, our first proper stop was at a pleasant little beach to walk its length and have a nosey at some resorts. Second stop was another beach where I played cricket by the sea with some locals for about 20 minutes. Just 20 minutes, but for the yarns I've since spun from my turn with bat and ball against a group of older chaps practising for an over-60s tournament, you'd swear I'd played for a couple of hours. That cut shot for four between two palm trees that my wife — national treasure that she is — managed to catch on camera remains a career highlight.
Then we had lunch at another seaside town where we ate while haggling the price down on a nicely patterned blanket that I now realise as I type we've never once used. After which it was back to the car en route to a turtle sanctuary for a quick squiz and donation before veering inland to find a jewellery museum that sits next to (and above) its own still-working mine. We were treated to a full tour of moderate interest value before returning to the car (wallets blessedly un-lightened) to make our way to the famed coastal city of Galle.
