If you go to the 2005 World Exposition in Aichi, Japan, remember that the reception robot has a problem with the Kiwi accent.
Wakamaru - that's the little chap's name - certainly greeted me in amiable fashion, offered his hand, recognised I spoke English and asked what I wanted.
But my request for "directions" created confusion and a question mark started flashing on his chest. Even speaking through a microphone didn't help.
Perhaps, suggested the attendant gently, I should try saying "deerections". Yes, that did it. Wakamaru happily advised that the child-minding robot I wanted to see was around the corner to my left.
The theme of the expo is said to be "Nature's wisdom" but there is little doubt that it is also about how humanity's cleverness can be used to solve the world's problems.
And there is equally little doubt that when it comes to examples of that cleverness, the robots are the stars of the show.
The most popular show - with eager visitors queuing for hours to get in - is in the Toyota Group Pavilion, which opens with a band of polished robot artists led by a smooth-walking trumpeter.
When the robots march off after making their music, Toyota's new, single-passenger i-unit vehicles dance on, twirling around the arena with a group of human dancers, joined at the end by the amazing i-foot, a sort of walking chair controlled by a joystick, in a celebration of freedom of movement.
Other transport marvels at the expo include buses powered by fuel cells, a magnetically levitated train, which has been clocked at more than 500km/h, battery-powered trams and a convoy of driverless robot vans.
But the best place to see robots in action is Robot Station, where my mate Wakamaru hangs out - some of his cousins also greet visitors to the Mitsubishi Pavilion - with a bunch of colleagues.
They include cleaning robots, which, I was assured, help to clean the expo site after the humans have gone home, tough-looking security robots, an intelligent wheelchair that took me shopping, a tall, glamorous showbiz robot which presided over the demonstration shows, and a couple of very nasty dinosaur robots.
The most popular, the one Wakamaru directed me to, was PaPeRo, the childcare robot.
This little geezer can recognise faces and voices, speak a few simple, reassuring sentences, play songs, respond to touching, communicate with parents via a mobile phone and camera so they can dial in and check on the little one, and move around without bumping into things.
Could it replace the babysitter? Well, it certainly had no trouble keeping a bunch of Japanese youngsters entertained for about half an hour while their parents watched delightedly.
However, my favourite, the robot I would most like to take home, is the cuddly seal pup I found outside the main Japan Pavilion, which looks at you with adoring eyes when you stroke it, whimpers with pleasure when tickled under the chin and whines if its whiskers are pulled (I had to smack my cruel guide's hand to make her stop). Much less demanding than a dog and, unlike a cat, doesn't kill birds.
But, as the Japan Pavilion demonstrates, the expo theme does involve a lot more than just demonstrating humanity's cleverness.
To my mind, this is the best of the pavilions and it opens with a powerful demonstration - told through multiple video screens either side of a soaring walkway - of the mess the world is in.
The pavilion then uses Japan to demonstrate how we got there, contrasting traditional paintings of a life in harmony with nature and photos of a largely rural pre-war society, with the vast concrete cities of today.
Finally, it offers examples of how, as it puts it, "harnessing nature's wisdom" can heal the planet by producing clean energy, eliminating pollution and creating sustainable cities.
Indeed, the pavilion offers a practical example of how to achieve this. It is built with biodegradeable bricks made from food scraps, lined with timber from forestry thinnings, cooled by a green wall of plants and sprays of recycled wastewater, cleaned with ultra-violet rays and powered by an on-site generator fuelled by garbage left by visitors.
But the heart of the Japanese offering is the world's first 360-degree spherical theatre, where visitors stand on a transparent bridge in the centre of a huge global screen showing the wonders of our world.
It swoops through the verdant forests and fishy oceans into the fiery core of the planet, and soars through bird-filled skies and starry galaxies to see how beautiful the Earth looks from space.
The lasting impression is that we live in a beautiful place which merits protection.
And that, ultimately, is what this expo is all about.
The individual pavilions give a taste of humanity's cultural diversity, the amazing variety of habitats around the world and the remarkable ingenuity of humans.
There's far too much to see to mention everything but some of my highlights were:
* The extraordinary patience of the long lines of Japanese visitors waiting to have their bags searched at the entrance in case they were trying to smuggle in bottles of soft drink (and maybe bombs as well).
* A line of tiny Japanese infant-school pupils in their smart yellow caps and scarves gawking at the giant facade of an Egyptian temple from 2000 years ago.
* Australia's bizarre 12m-long platypus mascot.
* The ancient frozen mammoth recovered from Siberia's permanently frozen soil.
* A group of sober-suited salarymen all talking earnestly on their mobiles in the middle of the steamy trees and colourful birds of the Borneo jungle.
* The delightful slice of island culture in the Pacific Islands' joint pavilion, which combines the resources of 11 tiny island nations.
* Travelling the Great Silk Rd via the pavilion produced by the harsh Central Asian republics of Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyz and Tajikistan, with their fierce horsemen, distinctive conical hats and chill-resistant felt tents.
* Soaring above expo in the Jama (the name stands for Japan Automobile Manufacturers Association) Wonder Wheel, a 50m ferris wheel.
The ride takes you past an exhibition telling the story of the car industry on the way up and points to its future in an imaginative display at the end.
* Enjoying a curry in a transplanted Colombo restaurant served by a team of Sri Lankans in native costume.
* The giant bio-lung, billed as the world's largest green wall, containing 200,000 flowers and grasses, designed to offset all the carbon dioxide produced by expo visitors.
With more than 120 nations, corporations and non-governmental organisations taking part you have to pick which displays to visit. But you don't need to see everything to get the expo message of celebration of life and optimism for the future.
The expo seems to say if we're smart enough to invent a robot that can answer questions and give directions in four languages we are smart enough to recognise that the world is on an unsustainable course and figure out how to change direction.
* Jim Eagles travelled as guest of Japan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
Checklist
Aichi, Japan
Getting there
Expo 2005 runs until September 25.
Air NZ has three direct flights a week to Nagoya, the closest major city, from $2051 (including taxes). The Air NZ website lists several local hotels (but most are full), from the Nagoya Hilton, from $583 a night, to the Comfort Hotel, $75.
House of Travel has flights to Nagoya via Kuala Lumpur on Malaysian Airlines from $1299 (plus taxes) subject to special conditions. Contact House of Travel on 0800 838 747. Alternatively you can fly to Tokyo and take the Shinkansen bullet train to Nagoya.
Tickets
Tickets cost 4600 ($59) for adults with concessions for senior citizens and children..
This way to the future
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