I never intended to still be in New Zealand, more than 15 years later, having made it my home. But travel is funny like that; no matter how much planning you put in, you never know quite what's awaiting when you arrive in each new destination.
And isn't that the beauty of it?
You don't have to head off around the world for a year — or 15 — to experience the joy of solo travel. Even a week away by yourself will be richly rewarding. Take inspiration from these tips and find your own way in the universe. It's really not as scary as you think.
Start small
First try out a short trip, somewhere not too dissimilar to home, to see if you like travelling by yourself. Better to do it this way than book a year-long round-the-world solo adventure and realise, a month into it, that you hate being alone.
If you have a partner or a preferred travel buddy, you can still enjoy the pleasures of a solo trip. Is there a place you're longing to go that your partner or friends just don't fancy? Don't push pause on your life, just because you don't have a plus one. You deserve to fulfill your own travel destiny.
Choose your destination
For your first solo trip, play to your strengths. If you want to be sociable and make new friends while you're away, choose a destination where the locals are going to speak your language. That doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to Australia or the US — there are so many places where English is widely spoken, including Hong Kong, Singapore, the Philippines, Malaysia, Israel, and much of Europe.
Find the right accommodation
A luxury hotel may seem like the dream, but hotels can be quite lonely when travelling by yourself — you're unlikely to strike up a conversation with someone in the same way as you would at a hostel. The latter doesn't have to mean a rickety bunk in a giant dorm — the quality of hostels has risen in recent years and a private room with en suite can give you the best of both worlds. You get your own space to retreat to when needed, but also the option of shared facilities, like communal lounges, kitchens and TV rooms, where you can strike up conversations with other travellers.
Airbnb allows you to book a room in a host's home, which gives you a ready-made buddy to talk to and someone to give you expert tips for navigating the local area. Just be sure to delve deeply into the user reviews before you book, so you know exactly what to expect — and what the host might be expecting of you.
Make plans . . .
Having some arrangements in place will help you feel more relaxed when you start your trip. Research what your arrival airport is like and what the transport options are; work out where your accommodation is in relation to public transport; download some offline maps to your phone; save phone numbers of hotels/hosts/tour companies/consulates etc, and make back-ups in case you lose your phone.
The internet is a traveller's friend. No matter where you're going, someone is likely to
have been there before you . . . and more often than not, written about their experiences on some kind of forum. Read up about others' experiences to get some kind of feel for your destination and any pitfalls to be wary of.
Make sure you share your plans with a trusted friend, family member or colleague.
Give them an itinerary (even if it's rough notes you've put together yourself) on where you'll be, on what dates, and any contact numbers that may help in an emergency (hotels, airlines, embassies etc).
There are also the little things to think of — like who's going to apply sunscreen to your back when you're at the beach, or watch your bag while you go for a swim? These things are annoying, yes, but not insurmountable. Aerosol sunscreen sprays are great for getting to those hard-to-reach areas, and if you leave all valuables in your room/storage locker you can swim carefree.
. . . but make them flexible
You know how I just told you to read internet forums? Well, yes, you should, but don't take them as gospel. Online reviews and comments should always be taken with a pinch of salt — they're subjective, and written by people who could be very different from you, who were expecting very different things from their holiday experience. Trust your instincts.
Also be prepared to change plans when necessary. Delays, lost luggage and other frustrations unfortunately do happen sometimes and although it's more stressful when you have to deal with it by yourself, the key is to try to keep a sense of humour and be adaptable.
Put yourself out there
Talking to strangers is intimidating, no matter how old or popular you are. I always feel like an 8-year-old trying to make new friends in the playground when I first approach new people on a solo trip. But it can be the key to staving off loneliness — or simply a good way to get recommendations for things to do/see/eat. Another tip is to check out Facebook community groups and local event pages for your destination to find fun activities suited to what you like. A quick scan of Awesome Events NYC, for example, shows that tomorrow there's a Fall Out Boy concert at SummerStage in Central Park, a Brazilian Block Party in the Lower East Side and a Bubble Party in Washington Square Park. All are free and open to everyone.
Take a tour
If all this sounds like a lot of scary, hard work, there are ways to travel solo without having to do all the planning yourself. Small group touring, although not for everyone, is often a good option for lone travellers. You'll have a guide or travel director taking care of all the intricate details, so you just get to sit back and have fun. You'll also meet like-minded people, and have a ready-made group of travel buddies. Different companies have different options of itineraries, group size and how much — or how little — is included. Some will charge single supplements if you don't want to share a room. But the demand is growing for non-romantic tours for singles. Intrepid Travel, who say 50 per cent of their guests are travelling alone, this year launched a range of itineraries just for Solo Travellers, taking in destinations from Peru to Vietnam to Morocco.
If you don't want to commit to a whole tour itinerary, Airbnb now has an Experiences platform, where you can book things like cooking classes, yoga workshops, photography tours and much more, all hosted by a local. They're a great way of getting you to the heart of a destination that you might not find by yourself.
Be safe . . .
The general rule is don't do anything you wouldn't do at home. Do some research and make sure you know the whereabouts of the less-desirable neighbourhoods and areas. Don't walk alone in them after dark — ride-sharing apps like Uber and Lyft are widely available in many destinations. The benefit over normal taxis is you have a record of who your driver is and can alert someone else of your journey while it's taking place.
Although smartphones are an invaluable asset to the solo traveller — giving access to maps, information, and endless entertainment — don't let your phone prevent you from being aware of your surroundings.
When you are walking alone in an unfamiliar destination, try to exude confidence (even if that's the last thing you're feeling). If you look like you belong somewhere, you're less likely to attract unwanted attention.
And, of course, the golden rule is to always get travel insurance. Yes, it's an added expense to your budget, but it's invaluable in the unlikely event that things do go wrong.
. . . but don't be afraid
Telling your friends/co-workers that you're heading off by yourself can often make you doubt your travel plans. Someone will always have a horror story about a friend of a friend who travelled by themselves and ended up regretting it. But, you know what? They're not you and you're awesome. You can do this. Plus, you bought travel insurance so you're already one step ahead of the game.
Tips from the road
Will Holmes* just returned home after travelling the world solo for more than six months, visiting 11 countries. Here are his top tips.
● Travelling alone will get very hard very quickly if you don't strike up conversations with strangers — both locals and fellow travellers. I've spoken to more strangers then I can count and from these conversations I've had great nights out, learnt about cool places to go and made friends for life.
● The other travellers you meet along the way will be your greatest asset in finding great places to stay and places to go, so don't be afraid to ask everyone for tips. Having said that, remember that people will differ on what they like and there are many who will tell you that their way of travelling is the best way. Everyone is different and if you really want to go somewhere (or really don't want to go somewhere), stick to your guns!
● Try to be flexible with your budget, because something will always come along that you didn't plan for and you will always regret it if money was the reason you couldn't do it. I never planned to hike one of South America's most active volcanoes, but it was one of the best days of my entire trip.
● If you are arriving in a city that has free walking tours, find one and do that first. Not only will you learn some interesting facts, you'll be able to orient yourself in the city and you will meet fellow travellers. Many hostels offer them too, and it's a great way to meet your room mates.
Disclaimer: Will Holmes is my cousin. The travel bug runs in the family.
