Sydney: From a great height

Sydney has creamed Auckland in its intelligent use of its best asset - the harbour. Photo / Getty Images

Dylan Cleaver conquers his fears and discovers a new outlook over Sydney.

In 2002, on the top storey of an opulent townhouse in Chelsea, London, an Antipodean broom-pusher was way out of his league as he tried to angle-grind along a course of bricks. The grinder kicked, he slipped and only a miracle prevented him falling four storeys.

Ashen-faced and incapable of articulation beyond "f*** this", the broom-pusher, who was me, decamped to a King's Road tavern, where he thought of happier days behind an Atex computer terminal in New Zealand, punching out sports stories and other tall tales.

The reason for this abnormally long introduction is thus: the near-fall precipitated an acute sense of acrophobia, yet here I am, about to walk up one of Sydney Harbour Bridge's famous arches.

An all-too-familiar phrase pops into my head: "F*** this."

Why and how did I let myself be talked into the BridgeClimb? Can I turn around now? Why am I sweating so profusely? How safe is this wire lifeline?

So many questions, so few comforting answers.

So I teeter along the gantry, running through some basic hypotheticals that all end with the same conclusion: No, I would not survive a fall from this height. I pretend to look calm, hoping nobody can see the whites of my knuckles. I lose feeling in my lower legs as I try to stop my mind wandering to Hitchcock's Vertigo and James Stewart's impressive turn as the afflicted detective, John "Scottie" Ferguson.

A new fear-conquering tactic is needed, so I look across at other tour groups and see overweight climbers and think, "If they can do it, then ... " And forget to finish that thought.

Then a strange thing happens halfway up the arch. I look out and, wow, Sydney looks stunning. I stop worrying about the structural integrity of the bridge and start thinking about the way Australia's brashest city has creamed Auckland in its intelligent use of its best asset - the harbour.

My sweat starts to dry. My heart starts to beat at a normal rate. Feeling returns to my lower limbs. I can carry on a conversation with my climbing mates that does not include words that rhyme with "duck". Hell, if I'm not careful, I'm going to start enjoying myself. And if I start enjoying myself, I'm going to go home and feel obliged to write a story about it.

The story would have to carry references to the fact that while it might not be the cheapest thing you'll do on a Sydney getaway, it's the sort of once-in-a-lifetime opportunity you shouldn't miss. And I hate that sort of story.

There'd be a paragraph in there about how the guides maketh the trip. How they effortlessly segue between black humour and bridge trivia. How they're windswept and handsome and look like they were born to live a life suspended 134m above reality. How they've climbed this bridge so often that the distance would equate to a circumnavigation of Jupiter and its moons.

Who wants to read about that? Me neither.

(I could even admit, but only between the safety of parentheses, that I eagerly queued for my photos once back at the base of BridgeClimb.)

There'd be all this and more, but no, I'd rather tell you that, just like the near-fall in Chelsea, I retired to a pub afterwards.

This time the beer tasted better.

CHECKLIST

Getting there: Qantas flies to Sydney from Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch and Queenstown.

Qantas destination tip: Enjoy a world class dining experience at Neil Perry's Rockpool Restaurant at 11 Bridge Street. You can earn Qantas Points by booking at qantas.com/restaurants.