We're not saying there aren't people you could happily spend a mini-break with. We're just saying don't assume good friends automatically make ideal holiday companions.
They might be too fussy, or total slobs, or serious bird fanciers, or early eaters. There are no end of potential compatibility issues, so your companions must pass these holiday tests up front. You'll find that only six will make the grade.
• Sunbathers or Others? You don't need to sunbathe to be a sunbather type. Sunbathers are natural loungers. They are big believers in siestas, long lunches, horizontal reading, hammocks, eating at 10pm and a lie-in.
Others will be enrolled in the kite-surfing classes, the kayaking experience, and up at dawn to join the native birds tours. Note: Sunbathers and Others can get on providing the Others are a) not occupying the moral high ground, and b) prepared to relax and lash into the rosé come sundown.
• Similar budgets. Your six will only flinch when you flinch (at the price of the fish special), and this is key to your holiday enjoyment. Others may be unsure about the whole boat hire idea or think nothing of letting their teenagers buy drinks on your tab at the beach bar, all day, for the price of your family's return flights. This gulf of acceptable spending will grate until someone cracks because the kitty has been cleaned out by a one-off truffle purchase. Everyone must be on the same page about truffles.
• Sea People or Others? Very important, this one, not least because sea enthusiasm implies all sorts of things. For example: Sea People are not interested in hairdryers; happy to hop in a canoe to get to supper; must be near the sea at all times, which puts the kibosh on that overnight trip to see the ruins.
• Culture Vultures or Culture Grazers. If you're going to the Uffizi, are you doing the 1.5 hours Swat team version, with the greatest hits room map, and then negronis in the piazza? Or the full 93 rooms for however long it takes?
• Same approach to food/cooking. Your six are automatically buying the orange and purple tomatoes, and the burrata from the farm on the hill, because that's the whole point of being on holiday. Otherwise you get It's Their Night To Cook dread and, even more corrosive, Someone Needs To Go Shopping With Them anxiety, to stop them getting those weird yoghurts and bottled pesto. When the food trust goes, that's a recipe for disaster.
• Borrowers or Sorteds? Your six have bothered to pack. The Others have one book so need to read the one you were about to start, one sun cream so need to use yours, no phone charger, not enough vape liquid ...
• What constitutes fun in the evening? Music and finding the weird bar with the topless waiters, or bridge, fresh mint tea and an early night?
See? Worth doing your homework.
— Telegraph Group Ltd
