Air New Zealand launches Air All Blacks safety video. Video / Supplied
Winston Aldworth takes the new Air New Zealand safety video for a test flight
With its fingers burned from the national scandal that was rap-video-gate, Air New Zealand has looked to safe hands to deliver its latest safety video launched on the eve of the Rugby World Cup.
Past and present World Cup-winning All Blacks smile and wave as the important safety messages are delivered in a clear, understandable tone. Sir Michael Jones is present (The Iceman!), Sir John Kirwan is there (former Herald guest editor!) and David Kirk (the clever one!) alongside Gary Whetton and Buck Shelford. Crucially, none of them rap.
It all goes to prove the age-old adage of New Zealand public life: when you've embarrassed yourself by rapping badly, win the crowd over by Bringing Back Buck.
US actor Rick Hoffman (centre), from TV show Suits, appears in the latest Air New Zealand safety video. Photo / Supplied
Wisely, they front-foot the awfulness of the rapping video - US actor Rick Hoffman, from TV show Suits, says: "As the airline's lawyer, I have to ask you crazy Kiwis to not have any rapping."
He speaks for us all.
Stan Walker and Israel Dagg pop up - but fear not, lovers of good hip-hop, Snoop Dagg does no rapping. (On a side note, it's great to see Walker looking fit and well.)
Cliff Curtis - the Swiss Army Knife of Hollywood casting directors' toolkits - gets a rare opportunity to play a middle-aged Polynesian dude. (He doesn't rap.)
Black Ferns legend Fiao'o Fa'amausili pops up. (She doesn't rap.)
Steve Hansen doesn't rap either... though that would be quite something to see.
Michael Jones is speaking. Pay attention! Photo / Supplied
With the Fanshawe St head office of the airline undergoing a series of backroom staffing cuts, a high-profile, high-cost safety video might have been in bad taste. So this one is understated, even a tad unambitious. Rare in the oeuvre of Air New Zealand safety videos, this one seems designed to slip down the newslist quickly. Grounding the razzamatazz, the video eases gently into the Rugby World Cup mania that's about to descend upon the nation.
Sean Fitzpatrick in Telecom's ill-fated "Abstain for the Game" campaign. Photo / Supplied
Every safety video the national carrier releases is judged against previous ones (All Blacks videos have generally been more popular, because: All Blacks). But in the conception and production of this number, I'll wager they were also mindful of Sean Fitzpatrick's pink fist. The legendarily awful pre-2011 tournament advert featured Fitzy driving a pink fist and imploring us all not to have sex. The "Abstain for the Game" campaign - which was brought to you by Telecom (now Spark) - was a shocker, and will have made big corporates wary of being too fruity with anything relating to the Webb Ellis Cup and the beloved silver fern.
All Blacks legends David Kirk, John Kirwan and Buck Shelford appear in the latest Air New Zealand safety video. Photo / Supplied
It's a tone that suits the current mood of an airline whose internal efforts at austerity have seen it cancel newspaper subscriptions for its lounges (even if the move was dressed up in sustainability colours).
Its past safety videos have been renowned for cheeky innovation - they've often been divisive, particularly raising the ire of frequent domestic flyers. But the Koru crew can be justifiably proud for having carved a new path with its safety videos over the past decade - now pretty much every airline has followed its tone. So where do you go when everyone else has copied your funky dance moves?
Stan Walker, former Wallaby George Gregan and former All Black Israel Dagg appear in the latest Air New Zealand safety video. Photo / Supplied
You play it straight.
The safety video finishes on an ominous tone. "Four more years," intones George Gregan. Can he mean "four more years" of watching this one video? Oh well, at least it's not the rap one...
