Restaurant etiquette guru reveals dos and don’ts of dining out

Know the ins and outs of restaurant dining and be a certified fancy guest with Sara Jane Ho's book, Mind Your Manners. Photo / 123rf

Have you ever been too shy to eat in a restaurant because you’re afraid the servers will judge you? Well fret no more, for this etiquette guru just made the ultimate guide.

Although some might reassure you that the restaurant staff are not judging, you can’t deny the looks and quiet chatter that arises when you have a slip-up while indulging in high-end dining.

We’re all so used to dining at the nearest fast-food chains or local diners, that we somehow feel awkward at times when we have to visit the fancy restaurants.

From how to use the utensils laid, to how to greet the servers, and more, it can be a bit confusing and unnatural. In turn, we tend to shy away from good dining experiences because we’re afraid of judgmental looks saying, “Where are their manners?”

Lucky for us, etiquette guru Sara Jane Ho has revealed the do’s and don’ts of restaurant behaviour in her book, Mind Your Manners.

Sara Jane Ho's book, Mind Your Manners, is the perfect guide for fine-dining enthusiasts. Photo / Getty Images

The host and their responsibilities

First off, Sarah sets the record straight, “Whoever made the reservation goes first because they are the host.”

Since they made the reservation, hosts have the responsibility to direct people where to sit, and contrary to what you want to believe in, guests have first dibs on the best seat at the table — whether it be the most Instagram-able seat or the seat with the sunset view.

So ditch the lousy “sit anywhere” request and save your guests from awkward glances and shifting around.

Order up

Sara admits she’s not a fan of long chatter before ordering, but she knows it can be awkward to get to the point right away, especially when your guests are taking their time to settle in.

She suggests, “Say, ‘So I’ve heard that the roast chicken here is simply divine’ while opening the menu — it’s so seamless your dining partner won’t even notice.”

To make a genuine and welcoming move, hosts should always offer complimentary bread to others first.

Here's how to eat your fancy restaurant meal properly. Photo / 123rf

Cutlery

There are tons of rules in cutlery in fancy restaurants, especially when forks are doubled and spoons are in different shapes and sizes. But above all, Sara has a golden rule for cutlery, “Once you pick up your cutlery, it can never touch the table again.”

Other things to note: “Don’t hold your fork like a shovel, don’t hold your knife like a pen, and don’t lick your knife.”

Eating your meal elegantly

The main event is here — the delicious five-star meal you have been craving.

But hold your excitement because Sara has a few reminders when eating a shared dish: “Don’t cut all your food into bite-sized pieces.”

Also, if your dish has not come out at the same time as everyone else’s, Sara suggests you should take the initiative and invite people to start eating their own food while it’s hot.

Lastly, when eating in a posh restaurant, “Don’t rotate your plate while trying to access a certain food.”

Going to the loo

Let’s set the record straight: never, ever announce you’re going to the toilet straight up.

Aside from it being awkward, people also don’t have to know your business. Instead, Sara suggests to elegantly say, “I’m going to wash my hands” or “Excuse me for a moment”.

Save yourself from the awkwardness of splitting the bill. Photo / 123rf

The bill

The dining experience has come to an amazing finish, but don’t let yourself slip up at the very end.

To call the server, hold up your hand at ear level to catch their attention and then try to make eye contact.

In asking for the bill, the host should always initiate asking for it, so that the restaurant servers can know who to give it to. It can save you from the inevitable awkward silence and glances if you intend to pay for the meal yourself.

Lastly, the situation that is, quite frankly, the make-it-or-break-it moment in fine dining: splitting the bill.

Sara provides an effective strategy to deal with the awkward shuffle and conversation, " If you expect others to split it with you, pause a moment. Your guests should offer promptly to contribute their fair share. If you’re a guest, don’t hesitate to offer when this moment arrives.”