Agnes Waters has stunning beaches. Photo / Supplied
An unexpected visitor sends Ewan McDonald scurrying for his life.
"Agnes Waters?" I muttered when I first heard the name. "Was she in Coronation Street?"
Actually, the well-groomed surfside village, 90 minutes drive south of Gladstone on Queensland's Discovery Coast, is about as far from Coro St as you can get.
It took another whole minute to drive through the town and find the even-better-groomed Agnes Water Beach Holidays set-up right next to a national park, on Queensland's northernmost surf break. For the next 2300km, the Great Barrier Reef ruins the waves.
Managers Noddy and Caryn are Picton expats who've been managing motels around Australia for some time. Since this is an upmarket take on the Downunder campground - beach houses, apartments, motorhome sites - it was only fitting that I'd be sleeping in a tent on the beach.
This was glamping rather than camping: a large safari tent on a permanent base, with wooden floor, full kitchen, plumbed bathroom, large-screen TV, balcony and queen bed.
"It's the best room in the house," Caryn said, handing over the key, which I never did use, because the tent fly didn't have a lock. "It's a pity you're travelling on your own, because it's the Honeymoon Suite."
There can be few greater pleasures than coming home from a dinner of exceptional fresh-caught reef fish and salad, then sleeping under canvas, doors unzipped and tied back, 20m from the crashing surf waves on a warm Queensland night. Even if one is on one's own in the Honeymoon Suite because, Caryn, it's an even greater pity that the position of Mrs McDonald is currently, and for the foreseeable future, vacant.
The first stand up paddle-boarders and surfers hit the beach at sun-up, around 6.30. I sauntered to the onsite cafe for eggs benny and coffee somewhat later. My brother and sister-in-law live just up the road - okay, this is Queensland, three hours' drive - and were going to drop in. We were catching up on the balcony when I looked down. "Les," I said, "there's a snake on the deck."
"Yes, I will have a top-up, thanks," said Les, who's lived in Yeppoon for 30-something years.
"What colour is it?" asked Barbara, who showed rather more interest. And concern.
"Brown on top, yellow on the belly," I told her, amazed at my own sangfroid, because I don't really mind spiders, unless they're bigger than me, but I have that Kiwi loathing of snakes.
"They're the most poisonous ones," said Barbara. "Les, do something about it," as the reptile began to investigate the umbrella stand and consider whether to climb up it.
"You'd better go and find the camp manager," Les told me. "He'll know what to do," which was excellent advice, except that the snake was between me and the exit.
Somehow, I made it down the stairs and back to the cafe. The manager came over with a broom. "We used to have a snakecatcher in the town but he died last year," she said. I didn't ask how.
Noddy arrived in his golf cart with a large canvas bag, gloves, and some kind of snakecatching implement. The locals coaxed the intruder back to his more natural habitat.
"It was only a baby tree snake, harmless," said Les. "When I write this up, it'll be a 3m taipan," I told him. "Did you sleep with the door open last night?" he asked. "Sure," I said. "I'd close it tonight," he advised. "What makes you think I'm going to sleep tonight?" But I did. For there are few greater pleasures than sleeping under canvas, 20m from the crashing surf waves on a warm Queensland night.
CHECKLIST
Getting there: Qantas flies daily from Auckland to Brisbane.