It's not like that at all.
Insight Vacations' guided coach tours are part of a bigger tour franchise that includes Contiki for the younger set, the 18-35-year-olds, and Trafalgar for any age.
Insight is aimed at a mid-range market, only about 30 people, more legroom on air-conditioned coaches with Wi-Fi and a loo. No boozy backpackers, no drunken 20-somethings on their OE.
Your tour director is bound to be an expert on every place you visit, and fluent in many languages. The TD takes care of everything so you don't have to.
Your fellow travellers are from all over the globe so you're not stuck with a bunch of fellow Kiwis, and you'll make new friends quickly. Our age range was "almost 12" — a real character — to 70s, and they came from South Africa, Australia, the US, China, Singapore and Canada.
Your trip has been planned with a couple of nights in each stop — time enough to enjoy some local experiences and immerse yourself in a place, learn its history and find out about the locals.
And to wash out your smalls.
You'll get priority VIP entry into all the places you've read about and skip the queues, or see them after hours, especially in summer when everyone and their mates are also visiting the European highlights.
You'll get to sample the local food and wine, walk with a food expert around a Paris market, learn some new skills, like making pasta or strudel, or the perfect bellini.
This is actually travelling, rather than taking a holiday. There are real experiences, learning opportunities, getting off the beaten track.
The pluses and minuses of joining group travel
Pro: You're travelling with a group so you're never lonely, even if travelling alone. Especially perfect for women travelling on their own.
Con: Let's hope you like your group — and you will. They'll vary in age and country of origin, so you're bound to find a kindred spirit or two. Some are likely to become life-long friends.
Pro: You have access to unique experiences, skipping the inevitable queues.
Con: Many of these experiences are optional extras, but you need to do them or you'll miss out on essentials. But they'll cost more. Our group was unanimous that some — like going up the Eiffel Tower — should be included in the regular tour itinerary.
Pro: You'll learn everything about where you're going, its history and background on the way.
Con: Your trip may not have our Gary, tireless and energetic font of all knowledge and organised fixer.
He delivered everything with enthusiasm and plenty of useful tips. A good tour director is vital, and you can probably bet they're all good.
Pro: You're driven everywhere in a comfy coach. Seats are rotated daily so everyone gets a shot at the front seat. Our driver, Giuseppe , was a master at dealing with winding mountain roads.
Con: You can't go off somewhere on your own very often. However your TD can often help you nip off to see something vital on your bucket list while others do a planned activity you don't mind missing.
Pro: So much is crammed into a couple of weeks that you'll see the best of your chosen route, with two-night stays at most places.
Con: That means some early starts. Don't be that person who is always late. Take a photo of the plan the night before so you get your bag out in time.
Pro: The days always include a buffet breakfast, so eat up to get you through the day. Dinner with wine is included about every third night.
Con: But there's still crepes and creme brulee to be eaten in Paris, strudel in Switzerland, cheeses and salamis everywhere to sample. You may put on a few kilos. And somehow, I never had a pizza in Italy.
How did that happen?
Pro: There are local guides to show you the behind-the-scenes life in each place, take you on a foodie market tour, roam the back streets of Venice.
Con: If you don't take these tours to go shopping instead, you'll miss a lot. You'll also need to be comfortable doing quite a bit of walking. Europe wasn't built for vehicles.
Pro: All tips, payments to local guides, portering of your bags to and from hotels is taken care of. No dragging your expanding bag up hotel steps.
Con: You may still be expected to tip a guide who's done a good job, and there's a none-too-subtle hint to tip the driver and director at the end. It's not in the Kiwi nature to tip people who already get paid to do their job.
Pro: You'll stay in very nice hotels, some quirky, some downright weird, but all comfy and safe.
Con: Some of these hotels may be some distance for solo shopping and wandering the sights, which was a surprise.
Pro: If you travel in the northern summer you'll escape the New Zealand winter.
Con: Every place will be packed with other tourists beyond your wildest nightmares, and the northern summer is HOT. Try spring or autumn instead for a less-crowded trip and cooler temperatures.
Pro: Remember when Mum and Dad organised your holiday, packed your bag and drove you everywhere you wanted to go? You didn't have to think of anything but enjoying yourself.
Con: Still trying to think of one ...
