KEY POINTS:
If paradise is a nearby beach, balmy 22C-plus temperatures in late May and a happy hour that starts at 2pm, I think I've found it.
There's a distinct charm to Port Douglas in Queensland's tropical north. Perhaps it's the postcard-perfect quality to the place - with nary a stray piece of litter nor graffiti - or perhaps it's the relaxed, chilled-out vibe at the seaside village of 5000 residents.
No parking meters nor traffic lights sully the streets, and the nearest fast food outlet is a 40-minute drive away.
A three-storey height restriction - colloquially known as the height of the tallest coconut tree - means skyscrapers are out.
It's like walking on to the set of a TV show - think Gilmore Girls but by the beach, or Home and Away but without the underground fighting ring, gangs or serial killer.
Not surprising, then, that thousands of Kiwis make it a winter getaway. It's where two World Heritage-listed sites - the Daintree Rainforest and the Great Barrier Reef - exist side by side, earmarking this corner of Queensland as something quite special.
And what better gateway than Port Douglas.
Founded by a gold rush in 1877, Port Douglas happily kept its sleepy obscurity until the 1980s when the late Australian tycoon - and later fugitive - Christopher Skase oversaw a construction boom that brought the town its first five-star resort, the Sheraton Mirage.
The Mirage was the beginning of a transformation that would catapult Port Douglas from seaside village to resort town - one that draws leaders of state and A-list Hollywood royalty to its shores.
Today, Port Douglas is almost completely reliant on tourism; during peak season between July and October, the town's population can swell to around 15,000.
The danger with tourist towns is the risk of them becoming temples of high tack; its residents devotees of that great cause - prising money out of tourist hands. But there is thankfully little of that - bar A$9 ($11) beer sleeves with authentic Aboriginal motif to keep your XXXX cold.
The retail strip is mainly a collection of independently owned outlets - clothing and jewellery shops nestling alongside art galleries and real estate agencies. It's the restaurants, pubs and cafes, however, that dominate.
It's easy to spend the day strolling around town, pottering around the shops pawing at the merchandise and then down a few beers with the spectacular seafood at the various eateries while awaiting the prospect of happy hour.
The almost zen-like equilibrium that Port Douglas inspires makes the idea of a relaxing massage seems almost pointless - if I were any more relaxed I'd be comatose - but most of the resorts offer massages and spa treatments.
But paradise can be boring, so the Aussie wildlife helps perk up things. A swim at the town's spectacular Four Mile Beach during the warmer months is limited to the area confined within the stinger net, a special enclosure meant to keep out jellyfish. But the nets don't help with reptiles.
Northern Queensland is crocodile country. In March, a swimmer came within half a metre of bumping into a 3m crocodile that had become entangled in a stinger net at a Cairns beach.
Golf also takes on an edge when the Mirage Country Club's 18-hole championship golf course features a unique hazard - five resident crocodiles, including 3m long Barney.
Warning signs around the water hazards warn of them, but despite hooning around in a golf cart looking for them, none was making an appearance.
The reality is that the wildlife can be notoriously shy, but A$5 grants you a guaranteed sighting - and more - of a cane toad.
Racing the introduced pest is now an institution in Port Douglas.
The races take place almost nightly, depending on the season, at the Ironbar, a bar and restaurant with a corrugated iron facade on the town's main street. The toads, wearing coloured hairbands for easy identification, are dumped on a large table and the jockeys - members of the audience who either have had their entry stub pulled out of a hat or successfully bid for a toad - encourage them off the table with whistles.
The first toad off the table earns the jockey a prize, which can range from day trips to the reef, to caps and free beers for the less talented whistlers.
And boy do the jockeys work, for the toads themselves seem pretty content to be inert.
But before the pandemonium can begin, the jockeys have to give the toads a good luck kiss on the head - a ritual bound to draw a few grimaces.
Those not wishing to apply lip - or tongue if one is so inclined - to amphibian can opt for a day trip to the Low Isles.
Sail charters leave Port Douglas' marina almost daily to Low Isles coral cay on the Great Barrier Reef.
There you can snorkel among sea turtles, reef fish or giant clams in a habitat featuring 150 species of hard corals and 15 soft corals.
Drive down or take a coach from Port Douglas to the Daintree Rainforest, which contains a third of Australia's frogs, marsupials and reptiles, and a fifth of its bird species.
All that in an area that takes up 0.2 per cent of that country's landmass.
In late May, the town puts on a show in the form of the Carnivale. This year, the 10-day event drew Michael Kasprowicz, the retired Aussie fast bowling great, and tennis champion Evonne Goolagong Cawley, a supporter of the local junior tournament.
But for all those attractions, Port Douglas' charm remains its simplicity.
Happiness, after all, need only be a platter of king prawns, a few beers and sunshine.
Errol Kiong travelled to Port Douglas courtesy of Managing Australian Destinations, North Queensland.
GETTING THERE: Port Douglas is about an hour's drive north of Cairns. Most major airlines fly Auckland to Cairns via either Brisbane or Sydney. Air New Zealand also flies direct.
WHERE TO STAY: Shantara Resort & Spa. One of the newer resorts, Shantara does not cater to those under 16. Rooms start from $215 per night.
www.shantara.com.au
Peppers Beach Club. Award-winning Peppers has a Mediterranean feel.
www.peppers.com.au
Sheraton Mirage. Built in the 80s, the Sheraton Mirage is on Four Mile Beach and features 130ha of tropical landscaped gardens, a championship 18-hole golf course and 2ha of swimmable white sand saltwater lagoons.
www.sheraton.com/portdouglas
Thala Beach Lodge. A 15-minute drive south from Port Douglas, Thala is a five-star eco-resort on the northernmost headland of a 2km stretch of virgin coastline.
www.thalabeach.com.au
WHAT TO DO: Sailaway runs day trips to the Low Isles, on the Great Barrier Reef. There you can snorkel amongst green turtles and corals.
www.sailawayportdouglas.com