Taking to the online confessionals page of Reddit, otherwise known as AITA, the passenger explained the situation.
Having booked a window seat on the long international flight, he was asked by the woman seated next to him if he would mind swapping for her partner.
Claiming to be “newlyweds”, the couple tried to appeal to his better nature to allow them to sit together. The husband offered to swap his aisle seat on the opposite row to his wife, but the passenger was unmoved.
“I politely refused and gave them my reasons,” he wrote.
As a passenger of size, the traveller said that he avoided aisle seats on purpose.
“One time, my elbow was badly hurt because the trolley hit me. I avoided the aisle seat ever since,” he wrote. “Also, being the second and the longest of the three flights I was taking that day, I wanted to sleep and relax.”
Having given him the spiel about being on “honeymoon”, the passenger says he was made to feel “like the villain in their love story”. Still, he refused to trade places with them.
It was at this point that the man sat next to the husband weighed in, saying the passenger was being unreasonable and was lacking heart.
“The other guy who is seated with the husband tried to persuade me to change seats too, making a scene as if I was the Scrooge in the couple’s honeymoon,” he wrote.
Surely he could have swapped with the wife, instead of passing judgment?
Still, the passenger refused to budge for the remainder of the long, and excruciatingly awkward flight.
“I didn’t budge and all the people around me, including the crew, looked like they hate me,” he wrote.
Finally after disembarking, and long after losing sight of the awkwardly situated lovers, the passenger couldn’t shake the feeling he had committed some seating faux pas.
Looking for confirmation that he made the right decision, he took to the internet, asking “Am I the A**hole for refusing to change seats with newlyweds who wanted to be seated together?”
“If it is your honeymoon, I would assume that you made your reservations in advance, why the hell didn’t you book seats where you will be seated together in advance instead of bothering other passengers? "
Readers of the thread, which received almost 4000 upvotes, came down overwhelmingly on the side of the passenger.
“You booked and paid for that seat you should in no way feel bad or guilty for not giving it to someone else who couldn’t be bothered to plan ahead or pay extra,” wrote one.
“Newlywed entitlement is a thing,” wrote another. “The proper bottom line has been stated here many times.”
Cynical Redditors said they had heard that story before and took the “honeymoon sob story” with a pinch of salt.
“The ‘Newlywed’ ploy is pretty common, especially on Hawaii flights,” wrote one. “Frankly, they should have planned their honeymoon better if it’s true. I am suspicious, however, of sob stories, tear-jerk excuses, and the like.”
Others asked why the cabin turned on the passenger instead of lending a hand.
“Seriously, aisle seat guy? Now why couldn’t he move?”
The etiquette of trading seats is fraught with social faux pas. When, where and with who you should accept to swap seats has drawn heated debate on planes and trains. Recently TikToker Mr Boris Becker made a series of videos about passenger entitlement and reserved train seats on SNCF trains.
Titled “Sorry I pay for my place” the video documenting the awkward social interaction of finding a passenger in your reserved train seat has had over 15 million views on TikTok. The viral video shows a mini transport drama unfolding as the carriage is divided between passengers who think the woman should move, or Boris should give up his reserved seat.
Should you swap seats on a plane? The unwritten etiquette of swapping plane seats
Travellers asking to swap should always be offering to trade up, not down
Seating allocation at times can feel like a lucky dip. While airlines say that they try to allocate bookings together, sometimes that just isn’t what happens. That doesn’t mean you can’t use the rules of negotiation to sit with your travel companions, but you must understand who holds sway. If you’re asking to swap you must have something to offer the passenger being displaced.
Extra legroom, aisle seats, proximity to exits for disembarkation, or even cabin class can all be used as leverage. You can’t expect a passenger to move places if all you have to offer is a seat at the back of the plane. The couple wishing to be seated together should instead opt to offer the passenger at the back of the plane to move forward.
What a shame your partner is seated in economy, while you’re seated in business. Why don’t you offer to go back there and join them?
The person being asked to swap seats has the final say. End of
You might have the most compelling reason in the world. Perhaps you and your travel companion have to, right-this-moment, hash out a “treaty for universal world peace” over your tray tables. If the passenger you’re asking to move doesn’t want to budge, it will have to wait until after the flight.
Worried about being split from your child on a long flight? Children under 14 years must be seated next to a parent or adult guardian. For flights to or from Canada the age is 16 or up, before a child can be seated on their own or they are considered an unaccompanied minor. This is up to the airline to resolve and reseat families so they are seated next to each other, or at least in rows together.
You shouldn’t swap plane seats without asking cabin crew
You actually shouldn’t swap seats without asking the cabin crew. Passenger seating arrangements and names are recorded on the Flight Manifest, which is a legal requirement for airlines and must be amended to reflect upgrades or other seat substitutions. If you’re on a quiet plane where passengers have helped themselves to empty rows, you might sometimes be asked to return to your original seats for landing. This is because the manifest should reflect the seating arrangement at takeoff and landing to help balance the plane for pilots, but also as a legal record of the plane’s passengers.
This article was originally published on April 27, 2023
