What we found, instead of an out-of-the way parking spot was a greeting party of staff, all in immaculate blazers, who promptly insisted on valet parking our car. Fantastic - until I remembered the carnage wreaked on the back seat by our two sons.
I had also neglected to mention to my wife Kate, that, in our haste to depart, I had packed by essentially heaving all our clothes directly into the boot. She looked on, mortified, as I began merrily piling them into the arms of our porter who, to his credit, didn't flinch once - not even when I passed him my shoes.
Thankfully our host John whisked us away from the horrors of our car for a tour of the lodge. It's simply stunning. The vast, lavish rooms were designed by Virginia Fisher, to a beautiful Cape Cod theme. But, with all due credit to Virginia's talents - the big sell is the view. Doors open to a huge deck, overlooking the beautiful, world-class golf course that runs along the coastline.
Owned by the Robertson family, Kauri Cliffs was bought in 1995 as scrub land. Today guest cottages are nestled against the hillside along with thousands of native trees and birds, which obligingly sing to you as you make your way through the forest to the main lodge.
After refuelling at the complimentary minibar (Kauri Cliff chocolates - delicious) we piled into a golf cart and hit the hills.
It would be a shame to come all this way and not play this beautiful course, but if you are not a golfer, screaming around the cliffs on a golf cart is not a bad way to pass the time, if just for the views. Some of the golf tees are right on the cliff edge, so you can look down over some of the property's private beaches. If you're keen, you can walk down to them, or take the luxury option of a helicopter flight with a specially prepared picnic basket.
Instead though, we head to dinner. Dinner at Kauri Cliffs lodge means, for gentlemen, donning a dinner jacket. Thankfully, I had been forewarned and swanned stylishly inside in my brown corduroy geography jacket. None of the staff laughed, which was very kind of them.
The rest of the evening is something of a blur which is possibly why I awoke the next day feeling a little worse for wear. Still, there's nothing a good game of golf can't fix.
Even the driving range here is spectacular - you hit balls off a cliff down into a valley dotted with greens. I was like a kid in Disneyland standing at each tee with a "the most beautiful fairway I have ever seen" look on my face.
My excitement was dampened, literally, only when the skies opened in one of those spectacularly heavy downpours the Far North specialises in. By the time I made it to the 18th hole, I was feeling decidedly hypothermic and couldn't for the life of me sink the ball, a) because I was incapable of holding a putter and b) I had lost all my golf balls over the cliffs.
Tip two: Bring your straight game to Kauri Cliffs, anything else goes over the edge.
When I squelched into our cottage, I found Kate relaxing in a massive spa bath, staring vacantly in a state of bliss.
She said that while she held our wedding day and the birth of our sons in high regard, the hour-long massage at the Kauri Cliffs spa was possibly the greatest moment of her life. I was just stoked I made the top three.
Tip three: If you really want to enjoy your wine, buy good wine glasses. Steve Smith, winemaker of Hawkes Bay's Craggy Range, and one of only five New Zealand masters of wine, told me that over dinner on night two.
This dinner was, in fact, the point of our visit to Kauri Cliffs. During winter the property hosts regular wine and food weekends, featuring key expert guests - this weekend Smith was one, as was chef Guillaume Brahimi, of Guillaume Bennelong restaurant in the Sydney Opera House.
Smith's passion for wine is inspiring and infectious. He likened the aroma of one of the night's wines to the smell of our native forest. At which point Kate turned to me and said "it really does" ... Clearly she was swept away in the moment. We all were, the wine was delicious, and poured from giant magnums, which made the feast seem all the more special.
As for the food, Guillaume Brahimi had us at hello. There's just something about those darn French.
The five-course degustation was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Starting with tuna, followed by lobster and caviar, we then moved on to a truffle risotto, wagyu beef and a finale of fruit salad in pineapple sorbet. Perfect.
In its time Kauri Cliffs has found its way on to all sorts of "world best" travel lists - best golf resorts, best romantic getaway lodges ... you get the idea. And, while it's not cheap, to put the cost into perspective, we had a long weekend in Sydney recently that cost about the same as a weekend at Kauri Cliffs. The difference was that at Kauri Cliffs we had a total indulgence experience we'll never forget.
People travel from all over the world to experience this property, but it took us less than four hours' drive from Auckland. Priceless.
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Further information: See kauricliffs.com.
