Pamela Wade visits New Caledonia's southernmost atoll for a veritable feast.
It was the stuff of nightmares. Borne proudly to our table where I would be expected to eat it, it looked to me exactly like a giant orange head-louse. "Voila," our host said, placing it in front of me, its huge claws clacking on the plate.
I'd learned about those claws this afternoon, on a walk through the bush. They were strong enough to take off a finger.
The coconut crab is an oddity, living on land, feasting on coconuts at night using its fearsome pincers and going down to the sea only once a year to lay its eggs. It's the world's largest arthropod and highly prized here in the Loyalty Islands, 100km to the east of New Caledonia, for its delicate coconut-flavoured flesh. With good reason: once it was transformed into a platter of creamy meat and served with a glistening dollop of home-made mayonnaise, the louse memory evaporated and there was no more hanging back. It was absolutely delicious.
I would like to say the same about the fruit bat, but even marinated in red wine and slowly braised, it wasn't a dish I would choose to have twice. No matter: here on Mare, the southernmost atoll in the archipelago, there is no shortage of good things to eat, prepared and served with a happy mix of Pacific simplicity and French flair. Of course, the ambience helps; sitting under a thatched roof with open sides, looking out over a lagoon of gin-clear water edged with crushed coral, coconut fronds rattling overhead in a warm breeze, surf breaking on the reef and chickens scratching nearby will make even a sandwich seem special.