KEY POINTS:
So wide is the grin on our guide Fletch's face, his boss reckons he doesn't deserve his wages.
"He's obviously had far too much fun out there, today. He should be paying us."
She's probably right.
An hour earlier, the glee in Craig Fletcher's voice was palpable as he strapped us into something resembling a four-seater couch and sent me and my family hurtling across the sky, suspended on just one rope-thick wire.
Despite being issued with big windscreen-like glasses to deflect head-ons with insects, our speed of 92 km/h is as eye-drying as it is adrenalin-inducing.
Some 150m below, plump wood pigeons appear sparrow-size as they dip and dive on wind draughts over the canopy of dense native forest.
This highest, fastest, longest flying fox ever built can be found more than 300m above sea-level on the road to Cable Bay, 10 minutes north of Nelson.
It's officially known as the Skywire and proudly proclaims itself to be the only one of its kind in the world.
Keith Anderson, owner of Happy Valley Adventures, dreamed up the idea of the Skywire and sought expert engineers to make it happen.
Helping Fletch to strap us in, Anderson assures us our seats were made with exactly the same impressive specifications as super-car racing seats.
Peeping over the edge of the launching platform, I inwardly wonder what amazing things any bucket-seat could do for us other than keeping us firmly strapped together in our tragic final moments.
Outwardly I try to look confident as he adds, "We're 305m above sea level and the Skywire drops you 150m in free-fall style."
Plummets, more like.
Anderson calls it the "Silver Ride, smooth as cruising in a Rolls Royce".
There's none of that clickity-clunk, clickity-clunk you get on a gondola ride or a ski-field lift chugging past massive support poles.
That's because there are no support poles.
The wire simply stretches for 1.6km like a country clothesline bereft of its tree-branch pole.
After the initial high-speed launch, you get to slow down, glide soundlessly, take in the scenery and hear the native bird calls and your own nervous laughter mixed with appreciative wonder at what just happened.
There's no platform at the other end, no steps and no people.
"Now what do we do?" asks my seven-year-old, then, whoosh, we're flying backwards, our hair parting on the backs of our heads and a view like re-wound film footage appearing before our eyes.
On a cliff-top below, we glimpse the word "HELP" written with big stones.
Previous customers?
Anderson pondered the idea of crossing the bush-clad valley on a wire for seven years before deciding to go ahead with the project.
It took 18 months to build.
"I'd had a bit to do with the forestry industry and saw how they pulled massive logs out of the forest with wire.
"There were stories about forestry boys experimenting, sending each other along the wire instead of a log and that got me thinking."
Eventually, he rode into the hills with an OSH logging safety inspector to brainstorm about how to turn forestry tomfoolery into adventure tourism.
Christchurch engineers Tyndall and Hanham (noted for their expertise in many well-known bungy-jumping attractions) made Anderson's dream a reality in 2003 and won a design award in the process.
Up to 80 people ride the Skywire daily during the peak season.
As the ride slows, they can spot the majestic crown of the oldest known matai, which is 2000 years old. It is also a sight-seeing highlight on the quad-bike tours.
Having seen the forest giant from the air, we made the pilgrimage on wheels, leaving our bikes on the pathway and walking the final leg deep into native forest, passing the 45m tall tree's enormous root system long before reaching its trunk with a circumference of more than 9m.
There's plenty more to do at Happy Valley.
Overseas visitors often get their biggest thrill touching farm animals for the first time in their lives; best mates get to go to war with paint-ball guns across a 2ha partly forested battlefield (the Wellington Lions rugby team holds the record of 22,000 shots in a frenzied 90 minutes); and families can take guided quad-bike tours high into the forest for afternoon tea overlooking Delaware Bay and out to sea.
GETTING THERE
Nelson is an 80-minute direct flight from Auckland. Air New Zealand is offering Smart Saver bargains (after February 23) from $89 one-way and the the airline's 24-hour Grab-a-Seat bargains go as low as $59 one-way. See www.airnz.co.nz
The drive from Nelson Airport to Happy Valley Adventures is about 10 to 15 minutes. Or, if you've arrived by the Cook Strait ferry, it is a 90-minute drive from Picton to Happy Valley Adventures on Cable Bay Road.
WHERE TO STAY
Find accommodation, transport and other information about Nelson on www.nelsonnz.com or check out the historic self-contained cottages in New Zealand's oldest residential street, South St, in Nelson central city at cottageaccommodation.co.nz.
MORE INFORMATION
Visit www.happyvalleyadventures.co.nz.
