KEY POINTS:
Resisting the urge to use both hands, I am grasping a slender and statuesque glass brimming with a golden liquid named Straw Beery Blonde.
Like a chocolatier in an abattoir; a land-lubber all at sea, I am so very far out of my comfort zone.
Tiny bubbles languidly rise in pearly streams to the surface of my Straw Beery Blonde. Like champagne. Only, this is beer.
"Go on - come over to the dark side," one of the organisers of Nelson's quarterly beer fetes, Mic Dover, had urged me a few weeks earlier.
"Craft beer is the new wine."
"Is it, really?" I'm sceptical. And, how is it that this man who is so passionate about beer, just seems to know nary a drop of the golden stuff has ever passed my lips?
Sure, I have quenched many a Kiwi summer thirst after a day in the garden; with unladylike guzzles from an icy-cold green bottle. When you're red-faced with muddy knees and blistered hands, popping the metal top off one of those iconic brews feels well-deserved.
But no, Dover tutts, shaking his head almost sympathetically. I might as well have just sucked on the garden hose.
Dedicated consumers of New Zealand's craft brews don't use words like 'icy-cold', 'preservative', or any of those famous beer brand names that regularly splash about on our television screens.
"Craft beer has got real flavour. Drink that other stuff, and you might as well drink water," Dover tells me and adds he saw the light years ago (presumably golden and through a glass of boutique beer).
So here I am with my hefty glass of beery-blonde, a brew concocted by Nelson's Founders Brewery especially for MarchFest; a celebration of Nelson's craft beer industry and the hops that grow particularly well in its climate.
Dover and his business partner Eelco A. Boswijk set up 'Dead Good Beer Events' to promote the local tradition of craft brewing, largely through quarterly beer fetes.
The events are strictly about beer tasting and savouring. Those who think it's an opportunity for drinking to get drunk are not welcome, and the organisers usually play the responsible host, providing transport ranging from an old steam train (see photo) to a double-decker bus and a vintage charabanc.
While some might assume the beer fetes are mainly for men, the organisers have been delighted to see around 30 per cent of the crowds is women - and most are keen to taste the beers rather than wandering over to the obligatory wine stall.
Four local brewing companies were challenged to invent a quaffingly-good brew each for MarchFest. Tasman Brewery came up with Easter Ale; The Mussel Inn created March Hare; and Founders, the Straw Beery Blonde. All three are lagers. Townshend Brewery poured its heart into creating Henley's Revenge - a real ale.
Most Kiwi craft beers are pasteurised and filtered, so effectively they're 'dead' when they leave the brewery, Dover explains. Real ale is alive, still fermenting until it is served.
I'm quite used to sipping wine at social events where canapes on silver trays float through the crowd and polite young things dressed in black and white discreetly top up your glass. So, walking into a celebration of New Zealand-crafted beers was like discovering a whole new culture; a different breed entirely.
If you could freeze-frame the crowd for just a minute, replace their beers with wine glasses and champagne flutes, they'd all look, well, just silly.
Wine drinkers sip and smile; slip through the crowd and mingle.
Beer drinkers sup and laugh heartily, bump and jostle affably around each other to get to the bar.
Inwardly berating myself for being such a girl, I ordered my beer purely because of its colour. Its light golden hue - and its description on the promotional brochure - seemed less-scary.
So full was my glass, I had to slurp it right there at the bar. But, I lowered my nose first, and inhaled.
I liked the smell of that blonde. I really liked the taste. It was refreshingly cool, not icy-cold and, to my surprise, I liked that too.
I bumped and (politely) jostled my way back to the bar and asked for another.
NELSON BEER FETE
Fete details: Dead Good Beer Events' next Nelson Beer Fete will be held at Founders Heritage Park on Friday, June 27, from 5pm to 10.30pm. A $10 ticket gets you entry, a free glass and free first beer. Choose from around a dozen different brews, created by 11 New Zealand brewers.
GETTING THERE
Nelson is an 80-minute direct flight from Auckland. Air New Zealand flies from Auckland to Nelson about 69 times a week with Smart Saver fares frequently available from around $89 one way.
MORE INFORMATION
Find accommodation, transport and other information about Nelson here.
