My holidays: Bert Kreischer

Bert Kreischer is the host of the Trip Flip Hobbit Special which screens on the Travel Channel (Sky 25), Saturday July 25 at 6.30pm. Photo / Supplied

American comedian and host of Trip Flip's upcoming Hobbit special Bert Kreischer shares his holiday wisdom.

What was your greatest holiday?
Every time I go to Hawaii with my family it's the greatest vacation; each one tops the previous. We got back from Maui three weeks ago and I'm still replaying in my head, my daughters and I swimming with a sea turtle in the ocean.

And the worst?
Hands-down, no questions asked, the worst trip I've ever taken was with my family to Aspen, Colorado. My mom, my dad, my two sisters, my wife, our two daughters and I all rented a ski chalet. I got altitude sickness the first day and then my wife got sick the next day. My parents and sisters bailed on us and left us to fend for ourselves, because they were afraid they would get sick! They called us from the airport to say goodbye, but I was so angry they left that I couldn't even say goodbye to them. I bring that up at least once a year to remind them.

If we bump into you on holiday, what are you most likely to be doing?
I would definitely be shirtless and possibly with a cocktail in my hand. You probably noticed me from across the way shouting for one of my daughters to get off of a rock, or put something down, or stop pulling on the tiger's tail.

If we could teleport you to one place in New Zealand for a week-long holiday, where would it be?
Queenstown, and if you have the ability, please send me there now. It is one of my favorite places on earth. I think about it often.

How about for a dream holiday internationally?
I'd say it would have to be somewhere I've never been. I'd really like to go to India. I travelled to Vietnam this year and it redefined the way I look at travel, the way I look at adventure and the way I see culture. I want more of that.

What's the sillest thing you've ever done when travelling?
Not check the weather! I traveled to Seattle in the winter and brought nothing but T-shirts, shorts and flip-flops simply because it was warm in LA when I packed. I spend more time packing diving gear, climbing gear and Go Pros and never checked the weather.

What's the best travel tip you've ever been given?
Be airline loyal. I haven't flown coach in 10 years simply because I choose to fly one airline every time I fly.

What was the most memorable meal you've had while travelling?
I had a s'more in LA made for me by a chef that I'll never forget. A s'more is graham cracker, marshmallow and chocolate, usually roasted over a fire. But this chef used chocolate ganache and marshmallow fluff, toasted by torch and made his own graham crackers, that didn't crumble when you bit into them. I swear on my children, it's the best thing I've ever eaten.

What's the best thing you've brought back from a trip?
I was given a sword by a Maasai chief in Tanzania after we drank goat's blood together. I sincerely wish I had more uses for swords in my life, but until then, it'll sit on the mantle in my house.

What's the next trip you've got planned?
My next trip is a family vacation with my daughters and wife to Alabama, where we plan to hang out at the lake, camp, fish, ski, float on the river and relax.

Bert Kreischer is the host of Trip Flip's Hobbit Special which screens on the Travel Channel (Sky 25), Saturday July 25 at 6.30pm.