On a regular day, walking groups start from the top of the chairlift at 2020 metres (the lake is at 2670m), starting out with a coffee at the mountain's spectacular new Knoll Ridge cafe. For me and Ryan, the wind has shut down the top chairlift. But Hillary wouldn't have been put off and neither are we so we add a couple of hundred metres to the walk.
As we march upwards over terrain straight out of a Martian movie set, Ryan points out the paths left by lahars down the side of the mountain. When the beast in the lake stirs, a slurry of mudflow and debris courses down the hillside, following channels bored through the mountainside over centuries. Winter buries this lifeless scene under metres of snow, hiding the fingerprints and cross-sections of the mountain's geology.
Ruapehu has roared into life in recent times, reminding North Islanders that the bits of the planet upon which we walk are a thin veneer atop something far from benign. The most spectacular of the recent eruptions came in 1995 and 1996. One eruption in 2007 left a man pinned under a rock near the lake - Ryan tells me admiringly that his boss was part of the heroic rescue effort that night. Lift queues, cafes and other huts have been moved from the path of lahars.
As we huff our way up the slope, Ryan tells me about a five-level volcanic warning system.
The lowest grade is something only people in white coats reading delicate instruments can detect, while the top end of the scale involves the relocation of the central North Island plateau as dust particles spread several hundred kilometres in all directions.
Most Kiwis seem comfortable with the thought of hiking up an active volcano, Ryan says, but the occasional visitor from overseas finds it worrying. More worrying for us today is the wind.
The higher we go, the greater the blasts of wind. We can hear them coming like a jet engine, roaring over the rise ahead and whacking us hard. Forty minutes from the top, Ryan and I are spending more time hunkering down and less time advancing.
So what of our summit attempt? Alas, dear reader, the bastard wind knocked us off. Ryan and are forced back just a couple of hundred metres from the top.
I return to a cold beer and a warm spa bath at the Chateau, where my baby boy and his mum have been taking in the views, breastfeeding and checking out some of the pram-friendly walks. Their day has been a triumph.
Delivering my slightly embellished account of our summit attempt, I realise I'll have to return to finish the job.
But, in the meantime, at the Chateau, we eat well, and relax in splendid glory. Hillary never had it this good at Base Camp.
TRAVELLERS' TIPS
Where to stay: Chateau Tongariro Hotel, State Highway 48, Mt Ruapehu. Ph 07 892 3809 or 0800 CHATEAU (242 832). Short break packages (from April to June) start from $320.
Further information: mtruapehu.com has daily updates on weather conditions, summer chair lift openings, and suggested walks for all levels of ability.
Guided Crater Lake walks run until April 20 (weather dependent) (briefing is at 9am, returns by 4pm). Reasonable fitness - an ability to walk for 5 hours with rest stops - is required. Phone: 0508 Ruapehu (782-734) or email: info@mtruapehu.com.
Winston Aldworth stayed courtesy of Ruapehu Alpine Lifts Ltd and Bayview Chateau.
