Montenegro has some stunning scenery. Photo / 123RF
Montenegro has some stunning scenery. Photo / 123RF
Montenegro is probably Europe's most romantic, exotic-sounding holiday destination.
Tucked away on the Adriatic coast between Croatia and Albania, with Serbia on its eastern border, Bosnia and Herzegovina to the North-West and across the Adriatic sea from Italy — oh, just Google map it — the name means Black Mountain. Though it was also a country in its own right before it became part of Yugoslavia in 1918, it's only been a country again since 2006.
We decided to visit Montenegro because we wanted somewhere different, a place the kids could run free on the beach, the wine would be decent and the food delicious.
We flew into Dubrovnik, in Croatia, and picked up a rental car for our family of seven — my wife and I, our two daughters and three grandparents — a travelling caravan of family fun.
Within 20 minutes of driving south, we were in the queue to cross the border. Fifteen years previously, Montenegrin mercenaries led the Serb Army in shelling Dubrovnik from the surrounding hillsides. A conversation I had a few days later with a taxi driver in Dubrovnik revealed that strong feeling still exists — not against the Montenegrins, just the nationalist elements who took over Serbia and its army. And no-one we met had any love for Nato and its involvement in the conflict.
After about an hour, we hit Kotor inlet which leads into the famous Kotor Bay. It's like a miniature Milford Sound, but with cruise ships and super yachts. Since independence in 2006, the rush of property development has sped ahead of the country's ability to put in place decent planning and infrastructure. The resulting unclean beaches and rubbish left strewn and uncollected in municipal areas shouldn't put you off the incredibly stunning Venetian architecture in places like Perast. Here, 200 years ago, its naval skills were so respected that the Russian Czar, Peter the Great sent his young officers to study at the Maritime Academy.
Being tidy Kiwis, we spent our time on the beach collecting glass and cigarette butts to achieve more of a "Milford Sound experience" than a "tacky beach resort overrun with Russians and Serbians experience". But, for the record, the Serbs were exceedingly friendly. Our daughters lack the gene that enables sleep, so after just two days the family started to replicate the break-up of former Yugoslavia.
I was losing my iron grip and our shattered dreams of what being on holiday was meant to be left us unable to articulate simple things like, "is that a shard of glass in your foot?".
After three days of fighting on the beaches for space to rest our sleep-deprived heads, we decided to drive into the interior and visit Durmitor National Park, a regional centre for winter sports close to the Bosnian and Herzegovinian border.
It was a stunning drive through rugged mountain terrain, dramatic gorges and green valleys.
On arrival could we find the visitor centre? No. When we finally did, was there a toilet? No. But, at least they sold fine hand-knitted wool jumpers so that one of the grandparents could dress appropriately, after discovering a comparatively cooler climate from the one we left on the sweltering coast.
The visitor centre, which contained no visitors, had a rather sad taxidermy display of eagles, beers and other wildlife. Sad because the animals don't exist any more outside the centre.
Back on the coast, there was no shortage of Montenegro's most prominent cultural highlight; hairy backed men in speedos, with bronzed barrel-shaped upper bodies and gold crucifixes around their necks. We searched the beach for family fun, among holidaymakers looking to get drunk, listen to bad music and smoke cigarettes.
You are bound to encounter the hairy chested speedo-clad cultural icon on your travels. Photo / Aleksander Zykov
All within close proximity of each other. We'll just explore further, we thought.
Nestled at the head of Kotor Bay is the busy port town of Kotor, turnaround point for the cruise ships and super-yachts.
The old town is definitely worth a ramble. Or, you could hire a car for $63 a day and take the 25 zigzags up the road to Lovcen National Park. A stunning place to visit for the views and a chance to get away from the heat of the coast. A monument at the top of Mt Lovcen devoted to the Prince-Bishop Petrovic-Njegos will give you vertigo.
My iron grip on both daughters was finally returning, as I nervously trotted after them while they re-enacted Elsa and Anna on the mountain in Frozen.
Further down the coast is Budva — the Adriatic's answer to Ibiza. We saw hordes of 20- to 30-somethings looking rather sleep-deprived. For gawd's sakes, get to bed and get some sleep while you still can, we cried. Younger daughter had already been sick twice in the car by this point.
We were travelling to Tirana, the capital of Albania for our flight back to London. Well worth a visit for a night or two if you have time. The centre of the city has fantastic bars and restaurants, which we explored until late, finally waking up to the benefit of having grandparents on hand to babysit.
CHECKLIST
Getting there:Emirates flies from Auckland to Zagreb in Croatia, via Dubai. Montenegro is a three-hour drive from Dubrovnik.
