My previous Hard Rock experiences range from the party-centric Las Vegas spot to the sophisticated Palm Springs location, and though I'm eager to return to both, "family-friendly" isn't what comes to mind.
On day one I was pleasantly surprised, yet puzzled, observing the seamless juxtaposition of young and old at the pool's pumping foam party. By day five, wading into the shallows, margarita in one hand and 1-year-old clinging to the other, I realised there is no rhyme or reason. Here, partying and Pampers simply slide hand-in-hand.
Children plopped at swim-up bars sipping apple juice next to beer-downing dads or toddlers napping on shaded loungers while mums enjoy tacos is simply the norm and apart from the occasional whiff of cigarette smoke, kids are embraced, welcomed and well-catered for.
Thanks to its Little Big Club programme, the resort isn't just child-friendly - it has the 3-year-old declaring, "I want to stay here forever", by day two.
Just as Disney resorts boast Mickey and Donald roaming around entertaining littlies, the Little Big Club features Thomas the Tank Engine and Angelina Ballerina, who keep youngsters beaming with meet-and-greets, photo opportunities and interactive shows.
The kids' club - where parents can drop children before indulging in the spa's Rhythm and Motion massage - also offers child-size pool tables, a movie theatre and water park. Back in the family suites, there are kids' amenities, toilet-training gear and a spa, which thanks to a generous pour of bubble bath, transforms any adversity to bath-time. But this is still the Hard Rock, so when the time comes to call in the babysitters there's plenty for grown-ups.
By day, CrossFit sessions, guitar lessons and memorabilia tours take guests past Snoop Dogg's Starsky and Hutch coat, Joe Satriani's guitar and Prince's seersucker suit. Aqua Zumba, water polo and TV theme song quizzes keep the pool thriving, and after sundown there are dining and entertainment options for every day of the week.
With any all-inclusive holiday, as well as the urge to grab a cocktail every time you pass a bar, it's easy to surrender to the wave of laziness which ignites reluctance to leave the property. However, to experience authentic Mexico, a day trip to stunning Isla Mujeres (aka "the Island of Women") is a must.
A 25-minute ferry ride with Dolphin Discovery brings us to Garrafon Park, where the water is so clear I look twice to check it's there. After snorkelling and swimming, the boat escorts us to the north end where by-now fatigued nephews and parents head home while I venture downtown in search of an Instagram-worthy beach.
At first sight, the tourist hub has been touched by inevitable commercialisation, with the usual Caribbean drinking spots and souvenir shacks. But stroll down the main road and chains give way to coconut stalls, topless locals hauling freshly caught fish over their shoulders, gorgeous beaches and rickshaw-like buggies.
CHECKLIST
Getting there: Air New Zealand flies up to three times daily from Auckland to LA. Local carriers will get you to Cancun in 4.5 hours.
The writer was a guest of Hard Rock Hotel in Cancun.
