After a night on the town, Sharleen Heijstra recovers in the arms of a Swedish giant.
KEY POINTS:
Love it or hate it - and everyone has an opinion (I've even seen it described as being owned by Satan) - Ikea maintains an icy grip on the world's would-be interior decorators. Testament to this is the fact that to New Zealanders Ikea qualifies as a tourist
attraction. Many, many Kiwis scurry across the Tasman to Melbourne purely to drool their way through the store and return laden with, well, everything, including the kitchen sink.
The Melbourne branch, in the leafy suburb of Richmond, is a short tram ride from the CBD. There, the giant, yellow building, which houses enough cut-price Scandinavian-styled furniture to make even Thor happy, shines out like a big, happy furniture-filled friend. And, speaking from experience, it's really the perfect place to recover after a night of indulgence in Melbourne's fine bars and restaurants.
The good people of Ikea have thoughtfully placed sumptuous couches to sink into at every turn, and speak only in hushed tones.
And if Ikea's delights are too burdensome to cram into your baggage for the return flight, there's always the in-store cafe, which is a treat in itself.
I recommend the Swedish meatballs - also great for hangovers.
Thankfully, shopping on Bridge Rd, still in Richmond and not too far from Ikea, is another story. It's full of the important things that will fit in your luggage nicely - shoes, handbags, frocks...
Prepare for 6km of outlet stores (that's both sides of a 3km street). Here you'll find Country Road, Witchery, Sportsgirl, far more Italian shoe stores than is good for you, soft furnishings, and yes, more furniture that you can't pack.
And if you've been foolish enough to take a husband, there are even plenty of man-stores to keep him busy.
And once your (now Italian leather-shod) feet give out on you, there are plenty of cafes in which to recover while debating whether to lug your purchases back to the hotel by cab or tram. Just a tip, if you take a cab, prepare to be pleasantly surprised at the cost, and have the living daylights scared out of you at the speeds they travel at.
WHERE TO STAY
The Langham, Southbank
For luxury and decadence, you can't go past The Langham. It's in a great location on the banks of the river, in easy reach of the city and all manner of restaurants. The foyer is stunning, with staircases just madefor sweeping down dramatically; the upper floors have views to die for; there's a range of dining experiences; faultless service and beds so wonderful you'll want to move in. Oh, and a spa. Check for specials - www.langhamhotelmelbourne.com.au
Albert Heights Serviced Apartments
Great for longer visits, these one or two-bedroom apartments are a short walk or tram ride to the city, and are clean and tidy with a self-contained kitchen. Rates start from NZ$111 per night. www.albertheights.co.nz
- Detours, HoS