Picking a present for her husband's 50th makes Mariella Frostrup realise that the most memorable gifts involve trying something new with your loved ones.
Trying to make my husband's recent 50th live up to his trauma at reaching "middle-age" proved a challenge. I found myself stuck for a suitable present from our daughter, who in myopic teenage fashion had given it barely a thought until a week before when she entered full panic mode. What on earth to give a father that wouldn't merely swell the catalogue of "things" accrued over two collecting lifetimes, already bursting from every cupboard, flat surface and scrap of wall space in our overstuffed home?
We needed something that would make a lasting impression and bring equal joy to two people separated by a 35-year age gap. My own indelibly stamped moments have occurred on a particular kind of trip, where the ambition was to come home with more to show for the experience than a few snapshots, a fading tan and a depleted bank balance.
Reminiscing with friends and ex-lovers, children and other family members invariably starts with: "Do you remember when we went to ... ?" (insert "obtain our powerboat licence in Salcombe"; "that boot camp in Brazil"; "that writing course in Skiathos"; "learn to sail in Lymington"; "cook fresh pasta in Sicily"; "grow vegetables in Wales"). Such holidays, marked by a quest for new knowledge or skills — no matter how spurious, superficial or utterly absurd — have always proved unforgettable, though not always for the best reasons.
How could I forget my sister flying through the sail of her own Hobie Cat, arms outstretched like a cartoon character as she undertook a rather too speedy beach landing? Or kayaking home with my friend Catherine on an ocean twinkling brighter even than the night sky above, in a shower of phosphorescence on the still waters of Angra dos Reis in Brazil?