Kumara locals believe the perfect whitebait fritter contains only whitebait and egg - no flour. Photo / Supplied
Elisabeth Easther booked a trip to the wild West Coast to fritter away a weekend.
Ever since I read The Luminaries, I'd been wanting to head to the South Island's West Coast to clap eyes on the locations that had been so vividly evoked in the book. Would I come across the ghosts of the characters I'd become so close to?
For me, 828 pages constitutes a long-term relationship and one particular location Eleanor Catton brought vividly to life was Kumara Junction, smack bang between Greymouth and Hokitika on the Great Alpine Highway.
Flying into Hokitika, the rain fell in sheets, much as you'd expect from a region that boasts one of the country's highest rates of precipitation. But I wasn't bothered about the weather, because my historic lodgings were so delightful I could happily have stayed indoors, reading, forever.
The Theatre Royal Hotel in Kumara was built in 1876 (10 years after The Luminaries is set) during the Kumara Gold Rush.
Initially, it was just a hotel and bawdy house but, being such a popular establishment, proprietors Annie and Otto (from Germany and Scandinavia respectively) added on a sizeable theatre, enticing shows from as far away as England and America to their stage. Rumour has it former New Zealand Prime Minister Richard John Seddon occasionally burst into song there.
Coming in from the cold was like entering a Victorian wonderland, thanks to the heavy wooden furniture, sparkling chandeliers, wallpaper you could frame and call art and carpet so lush and deep I was tempted to swim in it. With the fire blazing in the grate, Daniel, our host, ushered us in like some kind of hipster cross between a Dickensian funeral director and American Gothic.
We were a good-sized gaggle and travel had clearly stimulated our appetites because within minutes we all had a beer in hand to help us face the challenge of selecting our meals. I settled on salmon for a starter, an impressive dish that arrived on a river stone so weighty you needed both hands and significant strength to lift it. The orange fish flesh was served with soft-boiled eggs, the greens artfully arranged to give the impression of a salmon swimming upstream and, not only was it beautiful, it was delectable.
For my next course, rare wild venison was the way to go, served with beetroot, dauphinoise potatoes, confit garlic and venison jus, matched with a dark chocolaty Monteith's stout - merely writing about it now is making me want to do it all over again.
But Kumara Junction is a fair way from Auckland and excessive turbulence can make a girl drowsy, so I called it a night.
The rooms are all themed, named for local identities, and include the King Dick, Scottish Sandy and the Barbara Weldon room (formerly the bordello). I'd been allocated the Annie, named for Annie Anderson, German-born ruler of the Theatre Royal for 40 years until her death in 1933.
Annie and her husband, Otto, used to live beneath the stage and I loved reading how "it was not uncommon, during a performance to see a stout woman wearing a crinoline passing through the audience to open the trap door and descend to the region below".
As for the ghost who's rumoured to haunt the hotel, I'd like to say I experienced a bit of a bump in the night, but two flights, a huge dinner and a few beers and I was out like a like the proverbial light. And the rain continued to fall.
Waking to percussive precipitation on the roof (a theme was emerging), I could have lain about in Annie's room for a good deal longer. But whitebait's as good a reason as any to get out of bed and, after breakfast, we were whisked through the mist to meet the team from Curly Tree Whitebait.
At Kokatahi Helicopters HQ, Tony from Curly Tree Whitebait had taken over the hangar and fired up the barbecue to teach us how to cook the perfect fritter.
For a start, just eggs will do, there's no need for flour. The pan should be set to a moderate heat and the golden ratio is one egg per 250g of little fish.
"Whitebait," Tony told us, "is to the West Coast what crayfish is to Kaikoura and oysters are to Bluff."
Our first delectable round was done with parsley and mint, the fritters loaded on thick white bread slathered with butter and seasoned with roast garlic salt and a squeeze of lemon.
The second round we experimented with lemon balm and fennel, but the version I declared the most delicious, if surprising, was the one drizzled with mint sauce. I know it sounds queer, but try this next time you're battering up, it's so good.
All too soon it was time to go home and, as we boarded the plane, the rain finally stopped falling, the mountains finally revealing themselves as we flew over them and, no, I didn't encounter any ghosts from The Luminaries, but I did meet a fair few lively souls.
Kumara highlights
• The population sits at around 350 so you could make a point of meeting every single inhabitant.
• Fish for salmon, trout, kahawai or snapper - you choose.
• Visit Lake Brunner for fishing, boating or walking.
• You can ride your bike there if you're up to 22km of pedalling.
• Visit beautiful Kumara Beach where sunsets are a speciality.
Lakes, fishing, history - Greymouth has many interesting shades
Tony Kokshoorn, the Mayor of Grey District, has lived in Greymouth for 60 years and a few months.
"I have been here all my life and would never ever move, I just love it."
His suggestions for visitors to the West Coast include a trip to the Lakes District.
"The main lake is Lake Brunner at a place called Moana, it's half an hour from Greymouth towards Arthurs Pass and it has incredible serenity, and there is good dining out. It is a large lake, 100 or so metres deep, and it has a lot of Maori history around it. It is a beautiful spot. It's big on fish - any fisherman would catch a trout there, every time.
"My second suggestion is the Great Coast Road to Westport; the section between Greymouth and Westport. There are some of the most breathtaking views in New Zealand - subtropical rain forest, the Punakaiki Pancake Rocks, the blowholes and Cape Foulwind seal colony. There is no end of stuff you can do on that section of the road.
"The Hokitika Gorge, which is just inland from Hokitika, has the most beautiful coloured water you could see. It has the Department of Conservation walkway that has been upgraded. It is a short walk but spectacular, it has the gorge and the Hokitika River running through it."
He also recommends a visit to the Grey River breakwaters where the Grey River enters the sea in Greymouth.
"They are like piers but made of rock. They have a spectacular viewing platform and on a good day you can see birdlife, dolphins and great views of the Southern Alps, Mt Cook and Mt Tasman.
"And Shantytown is continually evolving. It's a heritage gold mining town just out of Greymouth and it has something for everyone: steam train rides, gold panning and a huge number of heritage items."
- Donna McIntyre
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LOW COST: Noah's Ark Backpackers - hostel accommodation just a three minute walk from Greymouth's town centre.
MEDIUM: Coleraine Motel - Conveniently located just two minutes from Greymouth's town centre and a 10 minute drive from Omotumotu Scenic Reserve.
LUXURY: Holly Homestead B&B - Located in Franz Josef, this B&B offers mountain or garden views.