Catching the last rays of sunshine at the Colosseum in Rome. Photo / 123rf
Do you dare travel alone? Are you stuck on the fence, yet to take the plunge? Here, two women reveal how their lives were changed forever by solo travel.
Two women have recounted their life-changing solo travel experiences – from trekking across Europe, to exploring the wonders of India’s Golden Triangle – and revealed why the decision to go it alone was transformative.
Helen Mitchell undertook a 1700km pilgrimage through Europe as she approached her 60th birthday. She said the kindness of the people she encountered – including the Pope – gave her a fresh outlook on life.
After losing her husband of two decades, Brenda Collins mustered the courage to take a solo trip to Croatia. It helped her break free of her comfort zone and continue to explore new places – and retrace old journeys, too.
For three months last year, Mitchell walked the Via Francigena, an ancient pilgrimage route that runs through France, Switzerland and Italy.
Nearing her 60th birthday, she felt called to put on hold her peaceful retirement in Ceriana, Italy, and walk 1700km through four countries, beginning at Canterbury Cathedral.
“I wanted to do something hard on my own, to contemplate and to think about the next step. Just having that time was a real luxury, I have to say.
“I am a practising Catholic, but I’d say it was more of a life reason – it was more a chance to give thanks for my life,” said. She walked 25km a day on average during “the hottest summer of all time”, when temperatures reached 43C. Accommodation was hard to find ad hoc, as was food and water in northern France.
“You have a backpack full of water, but it’s really hot by the time you drink it – pretty ghastly,” she said.
She was glad for her “invaluable” rain poncho, plenty of socks, and blister plasters, which were “absolutely essential”, but admitted to taking far too many clothes. So many in fact, that her partner, Les Allan, met her in France to relieve her of some of the heavy load.
In hindsight, Mitchell wished she had packed water purification tablets: “At one point, I was violently ill because I took a risk on some water. Then I was dehydrated,” she explained.
Desperately running low on liquids one scorching day in the Apennine Mountains, and 5km from the nearest town, she stumbled across a grave of a pilgrim that had died on the track.
“It happened at the worst possible moment – especially as I was dying of thirst. But it was amusing with hindsight.”
Mitchell stayed in beautiful monasteries and convents along the way, paying €10-€15 (NZ$18-$27) a night to rest her head. And met many people – fellow pilgrims, locals, monks and nuns – who showed her incredible kindness.
During an overnight stay in a Pietrasanta monastery, she got talking to a family taking refuge following a gas explosion in their home.
“You realise how insignificant your life is, you see new people every day, and you’ll never see them again,” Mitchell said. “You just pop into their life, experience the thing and then you’re off.”
In particular, Mitchell bonded with Tiffany, a 19-year-old French nun who was considering taking her final vows and joining a convent in Corsica that takes care of orphaned children.
“She was extraordinary. There I am walking the Italian mountains having this really deep, philosophical discussion with this French nun. I haven’t had children, and it was fascinating talking to her about motherhood and all the issues of motherhood, our own mothers.”
Mitchell had a difficult relationship with her adoptive mother, whom she described as “cruel”. Undertaking the pilgrimage gave her time to process and reflect.
She explained: “I find that if you keep banging on about your childhood all the time you end up not living. It’s gone, and actually, for me, it was really forgiving my mum, but also saying sorry to her. I did that on a mountain. I said sorry to her for not understanding that she was a person in trouble and that is why she was doing what she did.
“I had a real epiphany moment. And I think it came from having the time to really think because you are on your own with no distractions for a long time. I think you can sort of process things.”
Mitchell hugely enjoyed “eating her way through Europe”. Although, perhaps surprisingly, her favourite meal came in the form of a tin of tuna: “I couldn’t find any food, but I had a tin of tuna with me and I made it last three days.”
Another memorable meal came from an unlikely source – an Italian man belonging to the Knights Templar who gave her two freshly made ham sandwiches and a bottle of water.
The man drove past Helen in a Fiat Panda and realised she was a pilgrim. “He said to me, ‘I can now sleep tight tonight because I’ve done my duty as a knight.’ It’s so funny because I didn’t get a knight on a white horse, I got a knight in a white Panda,” Helen said.
Mitchell completed the route, arriving in St. Peter’s Square, Rome, on September 3. Tears were shed and champagne popped as she and her partner Les reunited.
“It was a delight to meet my very supportive partner in St. Peter’s Square, and it has given us a deeper appreciation of each other. I read the last day of my blog back now, and I can’t believe how emotional I was. It was extraordinary, after so long it was incredible,” Mitchell said.
In a fortuitous turn of events, St. Peter’s Basilica was closed the day Mitchell arrived in Rome as they were preparing for a Mass to make a saint of Pope John Paul I. So she went the next day, and saw Pope Francis giving Mass in the Square.
“I went up and got Communion, via the Pope. It was absolutely amazing.”
Reflecting on her trip, Mitchell, who lost 15kg in three months, said: “I’ve never felt more amazing in my life in terms of energy. For me, it really wasn’t about losing weight. It was about being the fittest person I can be to start my next decade.”
The long walk was an opportunity for her to reconsider her outlook on life. After which she felt she “dealt with demons” and “found a different kind of peace and enthusiasm for the world”.
“It gave me enthusiasm, a zest for life, I just felt so thankful – I could not recommend it more. I am missing it dreadfully!”
The solo travels of Brenda Collins began after the death of her husband, Trevor, 14 years ago. “We were already well-travelled, and I wanted to maintain that momentum,” she explained.
The 73-year-old chartered tax adviser was reticent to travel alone at first. Her main concerns being whether she would find a nice group of people to get along with, or if would she find herself alone.
“I had many misgivings and I thought ‘No I can’t do that, I can’t do this’. And right at the last minute I was going to cancel, and my stepdaughter said, ‘Don’t be silly, go!’”
Her first holiday without Trevor to Croatia in 2009 got off to a rocky start. Driving to the airport, Collins “was petrified. It snowed heavily, and I thought I would not even make it to Heathrow. My trusty taxi driver got me there, but then I was thinking, would the plane take off?”
She recalled a lady in her group tour sharing around a bottle of whisky, offering everyone a swig before it had to be binned at security.
“I was wondering what on earth had possessed me! I politely refused a swig!” she said.
Fortunately, a few reassuring signs cropped up once Collins reached her hotel in Opatija.
“I was offered room 111, which was the number of my former family home, where many happy Christmases were spent. I thought that was my Mum and Dad telling me I would be okay,” Collins said. “I’m a very spiritual person. I believe that my mum and dad are around me, as is Trevor.”
On Christmas Day, Collins was glad for a taste of home as her travel company sent mince pies by courier.
Looking back, the trip “was me breaking my fear of going away on my own,” she said.
Early on in their 23 years together, she and Trevor had decided travel would be a key pillar of their relationship: “We did really well, we travelled a lot,” she said. She particularly cherishes their tour of China, where they sailed down the Yangtze.
Now, Collins mainly travels to new locations – “I thought, oh, if I go places he’s been with me, I might feel a bit sad. So I decided to go to new ones.”
India, for instance, was a country Trevor never felt inclined to visit. So Brenda was more than happy to visit alone.
Trevor “usually goes with me in spirit. He’ll tag along, but he didn’t go to India,” Collins said, adding: “It was very strange ... he didn’t show up. He was definitely intent on staying home.”
She detailed her trip around the Golden Triangle; how awestruck she was by the Taj Mahal, and fascinated by the history of the Rashtrapati Niwas.
“I’ve just got this thirst for knowledge, I want to go and see different things,” she said.
While on a river cruise from Paris along the Normandy Beaches, Collins attended the 75th D-Day anniversary at Bayeux Cathedral organised by the British Legion.
“It was absolutely stunning, a wonderful experience,” and notably “it was also Trevor’s 75th birthday, so I went on his 75th birthday, for the 75th anniversary. Another coincidence, you see, I knew he was with me.”
She was thrilled to be sat “about 20 feet away from Prince Charles, as he was then,” particularly as she and the other cruisers originally thought they would be standing outside the cathedral.
Since her first solo trip to Croatia, Collins’ calendar has been packed full of holidays she has enjoyed alone or with friends.
She is preparing for a holiday to Egypt booked for 2024, which will be the first time she retraces a route she first went with Trevor. “I wanted to go back and find out more,” she said.
Before that she is venturing on a 22-day trip via private jet to Aqaba, Jordan: “I like to be organised and this is going to need super organisation because we’re in so many places, with different temperatures as well.”
Her advice to other solo travellers? “You have to be sort of outgoing, and you’ve got to mix with people. Otherwise, you’re going to sit there, miserable. You’re all in the same boat,” she added. “You just have to go for it.”
- Telegraph Group Ltd
When there's nothing as far as the eye can see, you may appreciate the company.