Hawkes Bay: One for the birds

Kemblefield Estate Winery offers claybird shooting along with the zinfandel. Picture / Jim Eagles

Ha ha, good joke, guys. Very witty. I'm in Hawkes Bay on a Rod Stewart pilgrimage, trying all the things the great man himself would enjoy: beer, soccer and music, maybe a little shopping and sightseeing, some fine wines and lots of great food.

Then one of my drinking companions points out that Rod is also partial to leggy blonde birds. "And," he adds, "his voice dropping to a whisper, "I know where to find a whole flock of them."

Great. Rod would love this. Where? No sooner asked than we're on our way, bouncing along a rocky beach on the back of a farm trailer, heading for the blondes. Seems a bit isolated. Must be one of those nudie beaches. Topless blondes, eh? Corrr. Rod would really, really love this.

And, sure enough, here they are. Hundreds and hundreds of birds, all blondes, all leggy ... and all feathered.

The views from Cape Kidnappers are stunning, and the world's only mainland gannet colony is fascinating ... but I'm not sure it's the old rocker's scene.

Fortunately there's plenty of stuff in Hawkes Bay I'm sure he did enjoy. Of course, the main thing we were there for was the annual Mission Concert. Rod arrived in a boring old private Lear Jet. I thought it might be fun to make my pilgrimage in a tartan stretch limo but I couldn't find any. So instead I went in an orange spaceship called Naboo.

No, this isn't another joke. Spaceships are sort of like campervans for swingers. They're compact vans, with a bed in the back, a two-burner stove plus cooking gear, a fridge big enough for a few cans, a CD/DVD player with a 15cm screen and a spectacular orange colour scheme.

With a Spaceship you can park on a lonely river bank, snuggle up in bed and watch, say, Star Wars, which is where the name Naboo comes from. It's the ideal way to solve the problem of finding somewhere to sleep in Napier over Mission Concert weekend when the place is chocka.

It's about a six-hour drive from Auckland to the Bay but being able to park the old Orange Rough-it in a layby and make yourself a brew or have a quick nap - hey, Rod is 60 - certainly helps.

There are also plenty of pubs along the route, including, in the middle of the Ahimanawa Range, the Tarawera Tavern, a place I've passed by a hundred times and always wanted to stop at. What would Rod do, I wondered, as we approached? Would he ignore the opportunity for a cold handle of Tui? Hah. Can a concrete block swim?

It was a good choice. The place was packed with pilgrims. "Are you going to the Mission?" asked the barmaid as she filled our handles. "Everyone we've had in today has been going there." You bet.

Downtown Napier was packed, too, but I managed to squeeze in with a few mates at the Governor's Inn on Marine Parade. The town was hot and a few chilled glasses of the locally brewed Limburg Pilsener hit the spot perfectly.

We know from our own Rachel Hunter that Rod likes nothing more than spending a bit of time with his mates supping ale down the pub, and Hawkes Bay is a great place for that. Not only are there lots of good pubs but lots of distinctive local brews too. As well as Tui (from just down the road in Mangatainoka) little local breweries such as Limburg, Mates and Roosters produce a terrific range of beers.

In fact, Rooster's Brew House, on the outskirts of Hastings, is just the sort of place Rod would fancy for lunch with his mates. Good, home-style food, relaxed atmosphere and a nice handle or two of Haymaker Lager. You beaut.

If you want a change from drinking beer - hard to imagine, I know - then the Bay's apples make great cider. I just love the Ballydooly scrumpy, and my Mum insists I bring her back a few bottles of their Grannypash (I suspect she thinks it's named after her).

And if you prefer wine with your meals, then boy is this the place to be. The region has long been noted for its great wine, fruit and vegetables - why do you think Heinz Wattie is based there? - but, thanks primarily to Graham Avery at Sileni Estates, a conscious effort has been made in the past few years to use those superb ingredients to make Hawkes Bay a foodie's paradise.

It has worked brilliantly and today a food trail at last count embraces 74 markets, growers, specialist food processors, wineries, cafes and restaurants.

I wondered whether, in view of Rod's enthusiasm for things Celtic, my pilgrimage should include Napier's Scottish restaurant: McDonald's. But Rod gave me the answer when he opted instead to go for a pre-concert lunch at Craggy Range Winery's magnificent Terroir Restaurant.

So I was free to head off down the food trail. The best place to start is one of the marvellous farmers' markets where you can taste and buy some of the region's sumptuous produce. At the Black Barn, just outside Havelock North, for instance, you can sample cherries and cheeses, venison and peaches, coffee and homebaked biscuits. Mmmm mmm.

After that we headed for No 70 on the food trail, Casa Lavanda, where Kent Baddley, for many years a top chef in Wellington, is now one of the most enthusiastic supporters of the Hawkes Bay food and wine concept.

The cafe is in the middle of a lavender farm and I suspect Rod might be sorry he didn't take girlfriend Penny Lancaster there because the cosmetics they produce are just the thing to keep the old girl happy.

Because Kent takes this local ingredients idea seriously, there is also lavender in the drinking water - rather nice actually - the waffle syrup, the tiramisu and the honey. "We've tried out a lot of things to see what works," says Kent, "and it's often surprising what does."

To my taste his combinations are marvellous. But the big test comes when a bumble bee lands on a bowl of lavender syrup and honeycomband refuses to leave. It's hard to argue with a recommendation like that.

The Bay has so many great places to eat and drink - my favourites include Te Awa Winery, Brookfields Vineyards and Rod's choice of the Terroir - that it's hard to know where to stop.

But you do have to stop, especially if you're a 60-year-old trying to stay fit enough to jump around on stage for two hours at a stretch, so what else is there?

Napier has its Art Deco and Hastings it's Spanish Mission, of course, but I don't quite see that being Rod's pint of ale. Shopping? I suspect the old rocker would rather have joined me in a trip up the Ngaruroro Valley for a spot of clay bird shooting off the terrace of the spectacular Kemblefield Estate Winery. I've never fired a shotgun but chief winemaker John Kemble assures me it's easy. "Lean forward, follow the flight of the target and pull the trigger."

Okay. The first bird flies up, lean, follow and ... bang ... it's blown to bits. John looks a little startled.

Second bird ... another hit. Third ... the same. Fourth ... the same. Good grief. I have finally found a sport I'm good at.

The other fun thing to do at Kemblefield is to wander down the vineyards to the Ngaruroro River and go for a jetboat ride. And after that? Well, as the Beach Boys told the Hawkes Bay crowd at an earlier Mission Concert, "You guys sure know how to party". Whether it's one-day cricket matches at McLean Park, the Church Rd Jazz Concert, Harvest Hawkes Bay, Art Deco Weekend, the Great Long Lunch, the Edible Arts Festival, the Weta Festival, the Floral Fiesta, the Horse of the Year Show or, the best of the lot, the Mission Concert, the Bay does indeed know how to have a good time.

This year's concert, with 25,000 boozy, happy fans joining Rod, Dave Dobbyn and me singing, dancing and having fun, was one of the best, right up there with Shirley Bassey and the Beach Boys. But you've probably already heard that.

The party continued the next day at nearby Park Island sportsground, where Bluewater Napier City were playing Canterbury United in the national football competition. No doubt inspired by Rod's performance the night before, the two teams produced a cracker of a game, going goal for goal, until in the final minutes Napier's veteran striker Martin Akers smacked home the winner ... a sublime goal to wrap up a successful show and leave 'em smilin'. Avid football fan Rod would have approved. 

CASE NOTES

Getting there

Spaceships cost from $49 a day off-peak and $99 a day during peak periods. Contact them on 0800 spaceships or www.spaceships.tv

Accommodation

Omarunui Homestead, in the countryside just outside Napier, offers bed and breakfast in the homestead or a self-contained cottage for from $160 a night. Contact them on (06) 844 3249

Craggy Range Winery hires out its luxury three-bedroom Te Hau Lodge, which sits just on a stunning site below Te Mata Peak, for from $595 a night. Contact them on (06) 873 7126

Restaurants

Casa Lavanda is at 176 Mangatangi Rd, Hastings. Contact them on (06) 874 9300

Craggy Range's Terroir Restaurant is at 253 Waimarama Rd, Havelock North. Ring (06) 873 0143.

Roosters is at 1470 Omahu Rd, Hastings. Phone (06) 879 7410.

The Loading Ramp in the middle of Havelock North will let you cook your own giant T-bone steak, plus a baked potato and salads, for just $14.50. Contact them at (06) 877 6820

Wineries

Mission Estate Winery is at (06) 845 9350

Kemblefield Estate Winery is (06) 874 9649.

Brookfields Vineyards is at (06) 834 4615.

Te Awa Winery can be contacted on (06) 879.7602.

Hawkes Bay Tourism can be contacted on 0800 hawkes bay

* Jim Eagles' trip to Hawkes Bay was assisted by Spaceships and Hawke's Bay Tourism.