Not many people get to look around this relic of the once-stylish Coco Palms, destroyed by Hurricane Iniki in 1992. Perhaps that's a good thing because it is ineffably sad when you think of how the cast and crew of South Pacific stayed here during the glorious Technicolor days, and how Hawaii was then an exotic destination where seaplanes would disgorge their cargo of pleasure seekers aiming for hula entertainment and tropical nights with fruit-filled cocktails.
Of course Hawaii is still a magnet for tourists, and a place where presidents and prime ministers holiday: there is already a tour on Oahu which takes in places Barack Obama enjoyed when he was a man with fewer worries, although as yet no one has put together a John Key tour pointing out his holiday home.
But one of the most interesting tours available is that of movie locations on the island of Kaua'i, just a 40-minute flight from Honolulu.
The Hawaiian islands with their fair climate, exotic locations and bio-diversity have been a magnet for film-makers: screen stars John "The Duke" Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Sarah Jessica Parker, Charlton Heston, Jessica Lange and hundreds of others have all made movies on Kaua'i. Directors as diverse as John Ford, Steven Spielberg and B-grade master Roger Corman have all felt the pull of this exotically beautiful place.
And various parts of Kaua'i - smaller than Stewart Island and geologically the oldest in the Hawaiian chain - have stood in for Vietnam and Laos (Uncommon Valour), tropical Australia (The Thorn Birds), Indonesia (the 1975 remake of King Kong) and Peter Pan's Never-Never Land (Hook).
The pilot for Gilligan's Island and the opening sequence of Fantasy Island were filmed on Kaua'i, and a rough drive up an unsealed, pothole-punctuated track takes you to the gates of Jurassic Park. In these mountains raptors and T Rex terrorised Sam Neill, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum.
A useful self-drive guide to these places is The Kaua'i Movie Book by Chris Cook, widely available on the island, but an even better way to see these locations is to hook up with 4X4 Hawaii Movie Tours which takes small groups in comfortable four-wheel-drive vans to some of the most famous, and most remote, locations.
With snippets from the movies showing on a screen inside the van, the movie locations have a then-and-now quality, and you can see how through editing these places have been such effective substitutes for so many places and times.
Some locations such as the astonishing Na Pali coast - inaccessible by road - mean you have to take a helicopter flight to fully appreciate the monumental grandeur of this sculpted coastline, or to look down on Waimea Canyon which Mark Twain rightly considered "the Grand Canyon of the Pacific".
There's something amusing and interesting in hearing how certain scenes from The Amazing Race, filmed at Wailua Falls, were faked for the camera, and seeing Hule'ia Stream which doubles as the river where Harrison Ford memorably escaped the South American headhunters at the start of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
You can be where giants walked (T Rex or John Wayne), stand in a bar where Sinatra drank or take in the vast sweep of breathtaking Hanalei Bay where South Pacific was filmed.
After Blue Hawaii the Coco Palms Resort hosted more than 700 weddings a year and even now it still hosts five a month - for US$1200 ($1700).
Almost 300 television commercials a year are filmed on Kaua'i and you can see why this has been such a popular location since the 50s.
There is an ancient beauty and grandeur to the land, a climate that is most often kind, and at the end of the day those fruit-filled cocktails and the sound of Hawaiian guitars.
And anyway, if it's good enough for the head of the Rat Pack, the Duke and the King ...
Kaua'i: a fantasy island indeed.
CHECKLIST
Getting there: Air New Zealand flies direct to Honolulu up to three times per week.
Further information: For general information about visiting Hawaii, see discoverhawaii.co.nz.
Graham Reid travelled to Kaua'i with assistance from Hawaii Tourism Oceania.
