KEY POINTS:
"How big of a poo would the baby rhino do?" Given the circumstances, it's a fair question.
In typical 5-year-old fashion, son Thomas has spotted an impressive dung pile just over the fence and he is keen to identify its owner.
Actually, this level of intimacy with the beasts is one of the great things about Hamilton Zoo - visitors really do get up close and personal. We are mere metres from the rhinoceros mama as she suckles her hefty calf in an open paddock.
Inside the walk-through bird enclosure - apparently the largest in Australasia - we can reach out to almost touch the fat keruru, while kaka swoop and yabber raucously above our heads. And we are able to see the pads on the hands of the chimpanzees as they dextrously harvest bugs from each other's coats.
The zoo is among our first stops in the Waikato city of Hamilton. We - husband Marty and sons Jacob, 8, and Thomas, 5 - have ducked out of town for a night away from work and chores.
We opted for Hamilton for its proximity and the fact that we so rarely
explore its distractions and attractions.
It seems sensible to start at the fledgling downtown farmer's market. Breakfast was a hasty affair so we're all a bit peckish.
Blame the growling stomachs or bad parenting for a near-mutiny at the vegetable stand. Faced with a candy-coloured array of crunchy little purple, white, orange and yellow carrots, the boys argue furiously for the right to purchase and devour the hue they deem tastiest. Nothing like a good carrot fight to start the day.
Fortunately, everyone is in agreement at the crepe stand, where we share a stupendously sticky freshly made crepe filled with maple syrup and diced orange.
While the grumpy man at the chutney stand snaps at the boys for taking up his free sample offer, fellow stallholders encourage tastings of organic pork, honey, bread, cheese and homemade sweets. We buy gingerbread men and oaty crackers to snack on at the zoo.
It is smart to carry sustenance and wear sensible footwear when covering the 25ha park, which can easily gobble three or four hours. Threatening rain clouds hurry us along, past a tight huddle of lemurs that look like some sort of designer footstool.
Tom is tickled with the bobcat's cunning camouflage, as it hides in a tree ready to pounce on unsuspecting birds. Marty is impressed with the green spaces: cheetahs and chimpanzees inhabit large, grassy, well-tended treed enclosures (though there is something slightly surreal about viewing a chimp, apparently deep in thought, against the backdrop of Waikato farmland).
Leaving the zoo, there is time for a quick pre-lunch detour to see edible animals. The Donovans Chocolates factory shop sits among light industry on the north end of Hamilton, with a small café, courtyard and shelves of fudge, chocolate bars, chocolate-coated nuts and other pimple inducers. Those with no shame can buy a box of chocolate coated potato chips and everyone is given a wafer dipped in liquid chocolate.
Rain foils plans to picnic in Hamilton Gardens so we head to the centre of the city and the string of cafes, ethnic eateries and roasted coffee outlets on Victoria St. This city's taste buds have clearly come a long way since my childhood when a Cobb and Co restaurant was it for family dining.
At the south end of Victoria Street, Waikato museum turns out to be a great place to let off a bit of steam, indoors, out of the weather. The boys are surprisingly interested in some of the more oddball art installations, far more than their father, who grumps "I don't get it", claiming there is too much art and not enough history displayed.
The big draw here is tucked away on the lowest storey, in the furthest corner of the museum. The Exscite area offers hands-on puzzles, games and displays designed to illustrate scientific principles and aspects of technology. But, mostly, they're just great fun. We play with light and take turns racing the pedal trolleys and transporting sand along a system of funnels and chutes. The 3D connect four game is also a hit.
By the end of the afternoon, everyone is starting to wilt and the males in the family are eager to check into the hotel, switch off their brains and watch bad television. I have just enough energy to peek inside the lovely little art gallery next to the museum.
In the morning, the boys succumb to the joys of an all-you-can-eat hotel breakfast, gorging themselves on pastries and multiple miniature boxes of cereal before heading to Hamilton Gardens.
If "gardens" and "boys" sound mutually exclusive, they need not be. While the rose beds don't interest them, the ducklings in the central lake do. Especially when a visiting grandma shares her stash of dry bread and a feeding frenzy ensues.
Our favourite section of this 58ha public park is the remarkable paradise garden, where a brick piazza leads into a series of themed gardens from other nations and other eras. I ply tales of time travel before we step through one arched doorway into the backyard of a 20th century Californian tycoon. Another doorway leads into the meditative Chinese scholar's garden, with the raked pebbles and distinctive architecture of another millennium. A grand Indian char bargh garden is the newest addition, with fountains and a Taj Mahal-like facade overlooking the Waikato River.
The boys are also intrigued by the scope of the vegetable garden, with its great expanses of beans and lettuces planted in pretty patterns. We parents are impressed that there is no entry fee to all this.
Our last stop is further out of town, amid the manicured lifestyle blocks around Matangi. The delightfully quirky Robinsons Sports Museum is fun for parents and offspring, or anyone with a sense of humour. Here, "sports" encompasses obscure mementos and everything from an old jockeys' weighing room to a tiger shark jaw bone, skateboards, goofy swimming costumes and a replica pub.
Children can tear alongside ponds, streams and a waterwheel or find gems like the waterfall flowing from an old radiator. Parents may appreciate the café and boutique brewery.
We certainly appreciate the abundance of green, family-friendly spaces in and around Hamilton. Sure, there are swanky shops and busy motorways but this city's rural roots are still evident. And we think that's a good thing.
WHAT TO DO
Hamilton Farmers' Market. Held in the Wintec Carpark, cnr Tristram & Collingwood Sts, 8am to noon Sundays. Visit www.hamiltonfarmersmarket.co.nz.
Hamilton Zoo, 183 Brymer Rd, Dinsdale, Hamilton, phone (07) 838 6720 or see www.hamiltonzoo.co.nz. Open daily except Christmas. Family pass (up to six) $36.
Hamilton Gardens. Well signposted off State Highway 1. Phone (07) 856 3200 or (07) 838 6897, or visit www.hamiltongardens.co.nz.
Robinsons Sports Museum, 130 Woodside Rd, Matangi, phone (07) 829 5826 or see www.sporstmuseum.co.nz. Open daily 9am-4pm, closed public holidays. Family pass $25.
Donovans Chocolates, 137 Maui St, Pukete Estate. Phone (07) 847 5771 or see www.donovanschocolates.co.nz. Open Mon-Sat 9am-5pm, Sun 10am-4pm.
Waikato Museum, 1 Grantham St. Phone (07) 838 6606 or see www.waikatomuseum.co.nz. Open 10am-4.30pm daily except Christmas Day. Entry free, donations welcome.
MORE INFORMATION
Check out www.visithamilton.co.nz or www.hamilton.co.nz or visit the i-site visitor centre, cnr Bryce and Anglesea Sts, phone (07) 839 3580. Open 7 days.